What's New (Pussycat, wooooahhhh)?

Couldn't just title this "What's New?" without singing and channeling Tom Jones even though it has nothing to do with this post

Hey friends! Still not feeling like I am mentally or energetically prepared to delve into the next installment of My Life With Long-Haul. And having trouble coming up with topics I want to write about instead. I think my fatigue and brain fog have been so bad lately that it’s causing some mental barriers to my creative process.

Funnily enough, my brain has been more geared towards hands-on creative projects lately Which is super weird because the running joke with anyone who has known me for awhile is that I am BAD at arts and crafts. But, somehow, I am getting better. A lot of it I am still terrible at. But, some things are getting so much better that even my mom is impressed (she is historically never impressed with my crafts and has no compunction about letting me know when it is bad! LOL)

What’s more is that I am feeling drawn to hands-on creative projects. I am still feeling drawn to writing, but it is just taking a certain kind of energy that I don’t have as much of right now. I know these waves come and go.

As I mentioned in my last post, I have been making my own moisturizing face oil for myself and friends in cute little bottles with my own label. I have also been making fun crystal candles for some people. I am obsessed with creating faery gardens. I just picked up some scrapbook supplies to make birthday cards. And I also took on a really big project (for me), and made a curio jar. Which was way more involved than it looks. When I can’t do something that involved, I lay in bed and design new Instagram cover photos.

Here are some links to my faery gardens:

Instagram 1 and Instagram 2

Tiktok 1 and TikTok 2

Other than getting into creative crafting projects, I have some other new updates!

1 - In my last post I mentioned I had been learning Celtic Reiki. I am still working on my self-healing and practicing on friends. Once I feel ready, I will move on to level 2 attunements and after that I can start doing it for other people beyond just practicing on close friends. I have really been enjoying learning this healing modality, and I am excited to share it more in the future. I have just started sharing videos on my socials of me practicing this on myself.

2 - This is a big one I have been keeping a secret…… I was FINALLY, after two years, approved for disability!!! I will write a lot more details about this when it hits that point of the timeline in my Long-Haul series. I just finally received my first monthly payment today, so now I feel better about sharing this info. This is the hardest I have ever worked and fought for any amount of money, especially an amount that still puts me close to the poverty level (LOL), but I cannot tell you how relieved I was. I cried SOOOO hard all day.

Now all of my attention can go towards my physical health and trying everything I possibly can to get better. With how fatigued and sick I am, it was really very hard to try to focus on the financial portion and the physical portion. I mean, I did do it. I did the best I could. But now that I don’t have to worry as much about money for the next two years, I can give everything to my physical now. I am very determined to find the right doctors and clinics to get the treatments and answers I need. I would love to be all better in two years and not even need to reapply for disability. I would love to be back to a place where I can work full-time again (or even part-time would be great), and be on my way to moving to NYC! But, baby steps until then. I know.

More details on that to come!

3 - With most of my disability money, I am putting money back into my retirement because I had to clear that account out in its entirety to get by these past few years. And I will also be paying off bills that have stacked up due to no income for a few years. But, with a little bit of the money, after everything I have gone through, I am treating myself to a long overdue vacation.

And, the vacation is…….drumroll…… Ireland and Amsterdam! I’ve had the opportunity to join an amazing Celtic Faery retreat that will be happening in the Wicklow mountains outside of Dublin in September. As such, while I am there, I’m going to spend a few days in Dublin and Amsterdam.

The last time I traveled like this was Italy back in May/June 2022 when I was starting to get better from my long-haul Covid that I had from my first infection in 2020. However, I have not done any big traveling since I got my second Covid infection in Aug. 2022 and have been living with a much worse bout of long-haul. I am worried and nervous about how I’ll fare on this upcoming trip, but I am also feeling pretty strongly that these places are going to have a positive impact on my healing.

I also have booked it in a way that allows me a lot of downtime and rest between flights and activities. I am also prepared to accept that there may be days I can’t participate in things, or I can’t go anywhere. I have planned the trip with that in mind, and have mentally prepared myself to be okay with that happening. I am determined that this illness will not keep me down and in bed all the time. I am getting much better at banking and pacing my energy, and allowing a lot of buffer time. I want to prove to myself that my life doesn’t have to be over, and I can still do some of the things that feed my soul even with a chronic illness. I can make accommodations that allow me to still live my life to a certain degree. Can’t wait to share this trip with y’all.

4 - I have been commissioned to write another article for a professional publication. It isn’t Business Insider this time. This one is called The Sick Times. I’ve had a really hard time selling anything about my illness, so I am excited to finally have sold an article about this. I just finished my first draft a few days ago and sent it to the editor (it takes me about 5x as long to write stuff now as it used to prior to my illness). We will go back and forth on some edits and then I am hoping it will be published in the next couple of months. Not sure of a date yet though. I will keep you posted and I will share it when it goes live!

Still no bites with my book, but I haven’t had a chance to send it to any new agents in a while. Just haven’t been able to focus on that with my energy levels and symptoms and the other stuff going on. But hoping to get back on that asap.

Ok, I think that’s it for now. I have hit a wall where I cannot remember anything else I wanted to share and my brain is just done allowing me to use it for the day. LOL

But, in a nutshell, that is how I’ve been and what I have been up to. Not gonna lie, the symptoms have really been taking a toll on my mental health lately. I have been having some very tough days with how bad I feel physically and mentally. I feel like I have to revive myself every day, constantly. Everything is just constant self-talk of trying to get myself out of a hole I feel I am falling into.

So, admittedly, this post is a prettier picture than things actually feel right at this moment. I have been falling into pretty bad bouts of depression and despair lately. Just when I think I am turning a corner and feeling better, I get knocked off my block and have 2 weeks of feeling like total crap and being in a lot of pain. And after about a week of it, I start to fall into a dark place. But, I get tired of talking about it. So I try to focus on the positive as best I can, because I am just over all of this and don’t want to think about it anymore than I have to. However when I do focus on the positive and share it publicly, I find that people falsely assume everything is better and OK. It truly isn’t. I am feeling just as sick as I ever have, and I still have many bad days where I am just crying non-stop from the grief all of this causes, and from pretty constant pain in my body and head.

Ok, that’s the update for now. I am curious how you are doing? Anything new or interesting in your life? Please comment, email, or text and let me know how you are and what is going on with you! Much love!

xo, K

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