Bye Bye 2024
Fashion, Fave Reads, Camel Toe, Concerts, and Main Character Energy
Hello dear readers and subscribers!
I want to start out with a huge thank you to anyone who read my writing this year, an even bigger thank you to the people who shared any of my writing and subscribed to this blog, the biggest thank you to the paid subscribers of this blog, and a big LOL to the people who unsubscribed from my blog this year. Can’t win em all I guess *shrugs*. It feels really good to be making money as a writer with the paid subscriptions, and the two articles I was able to get professionally published this year. I am hopeful that 2025 will allow me the energy to pursue even more! Let’s go for three!
2024 Writing - Shameless plugs: If you feel so inclined, here are the 2 professional articles I had published this year if you wanna read ‘em - Insider article and The Sick Times article. And, if you want to read even more of my blog posts than the normal average, every day, free subscriber then you can become a VIP paid subscriber and read stuff from the darkest, secret corners of my mind…
With that being said, this week’s post is the final one of 2024! Since the next two weeks are holiday weeks, I figured no one is going to want emails from me. And, if for some reason you are really itching to read my shiz over your holiday break, something tells me you probably haven’t read all of my posts this year, so you can go to the home page and get all caught up on all the old stuff.
Or, if you go from being a free subscriber to being a paid subscriber, it will unlock all the old paid posts that you can go back to, also. I know, I know, you were very worried about being able to read my stuff for the next two weeks. I truly hope this is a suitable solution for you. If it is not, please email me personally and I will write something just for you specifically!
So let’s see this year’s last post out on something light, fun, and easy! I thought I would share a few highlights from the year. I have already shared a couple of writing highlights above! Next up, is a few of my favorite 2024 fashions that I wore!
2024 Fashions - This year I found new ways to split up and re-wear some old things (ie neon pink pantsuit split-up bookending the year Feb and Dec). Especially when it came to capsule wardrobe pieces, and packing light for Europe. I got really into fake nails and a shit ton of rings. I decided I needed that one fringe kimono in 3 colors. I wore A LOT of woo woo things whilst being woo woo in nature. Fairy costumes were all the rage (for me). And, unfortunately, this year was no exception to my crotch eventually stealing the show. Was bound to happen.
Apologies for the ones where my head is cut off, but Substack’s picture gallery is garbage. There is only one picture where my head isn’t supposed to be in it, and that is the one where I zoomed in on the weird poofy thing my pants did that accentuated my crotch, as I mentioned in the paragraph above my pictures. Other than that, any picture without my head is an accident.
2024 Books - I also read so many books! And I am not finished yet, I anticipate finishing at least a couple more before the year is out, but here is what I have finished thus far, and I will note my faves! There were a large handful of books that I got between a third to half of the way in and decided I could not go on, and so I quit reading them. Those are not mentioned, even if I did read so much of them!
Once again—audiobooks for the win! Ever since I have had the neurological issues I’ve had with Long Covid, I have REALLY struggled to read traditional books. As such, audiobooks have been a game changer and life saver! I used to be someone who thought that audiobooks did not have the same impact on the brain as reading a physical copy. But, that was incorrect and ableist. I did research and it turns out they have the exact same impact on the brain and are both just as beneficial.
Before my illness, I couldn’t pay attention to audiobooks. After my illness, I can’t pay attention to physical books. I still try to read a handful of physical books to try to exercise my eyes and whatever part of my brain is struggling to pay attention to it. And then I pad out the rest of my reading with audiobooks which my brain devours! I also read so much more fiction this year than I have in many years. It was a really delightful change of pace.
Here are pics of all the books so far, and noted below the pics are my top faves, honorable mentions, and others that wouldn’t be my personal recs to anyone…
Top Faves -
Weyward by Emilia Hart - a fiction about witches. Follows three different women in three different eras.
Emily Wilde’s Encyclopaedia of Faeries by Heather Fawcett - a fiction about fairies. The leading protagonist woman is likably unlikable and the cast of fairies she meets are really fun.
Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey (you gotta listen to him read the audiobook for this one) - autobiography - he is such a character and so funny and wild. He has some great insights.
Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt - a fiction that is very heartfelt. This one will really keep you on your toes and tug at your heart strings. It is different than anything else I have ever read.
The Courage to be Disliked by Fumitake Koga and Ichiro Kishimi - nonfiction self-help - the writing was not my cup of tea but the content was extremely valuable. It is a dry back and forth dialogue the whole book and that was really hard for me to keep my attention going. However, there were points made that were so … *MIC DROP* that it had a profound impact on me, so it goes in the top.
Sociopath by Patric Gagne PhD - memoir - the woman who wrote it is a diagnosed sociopath and went to school to become a psychiatrist for people with anti-social personality disorders to help them because they were so misunderstood. She helped better define the disorder for the industry and shares an incredibly honest account of her life.
Honorable mentions -
The Lost Apothecary by Sarah Penner - a fiction about witches
Emily Wilde’s May of the Otherlands (sequel to Encyclopaedia) by Heather Fawcett - a fiction about fairies
The Absinthe Underground by Jamie Pacton - a fiction about fairies
Mad Honey by Jodi Picoult and Jennifer Finney Boylan - a fiction that is straddling the line between honorable mention and top fave for me. Hard to distill this down to a simple description.
Books that I went back and forth between loving and hating, and had they taken out several pages and chapters of details that didn’t contribute to the book and made it way too long, they would have definitely been in my top fave, but because they didn’t do that, they are not -
Wellness by Nathan Hill
All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr
Books that I will not be recommending to anyone, just based on my personal preferences, but I am very proud of the authors for living their dreams nonetheless and my opinion does not matter -
Consent by Jill Ciment
Finding Me by Viola Davis
Clytemnestra by Costanza Casati
One in a Millennial by Kate Kennedy
My Life as a Villainess by Laura Lipmann
(Tree Magic is a text book for me to learn Celtic reiki so I don’t recommend it for that reason)
Overcome by Amber van de Bunt
Stone Blind by Natalie Hayes
Nettle and Bone by T. Kingfisher
Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner (I really really wanted to like this one, but it just didn’t do it for me personally. I can’t say that would be the case for everyone though.)
(Big Swiss was weird, I would or wouldn’t recommend this on a case by case basis)
The Girl Who Was Taken (torture porn written by a man)
2024 Music - This year I had the opportunity to see some concerts that even I am jealous of myself for seeing. I saw Stevie Nicks in Nashville, Chappell Roan at her iconic Lollapalooza concert, up and comer Sierra Ferrell in Memphis, and a rare David Gilmour concert at Madison Square Garden.
Gilmour has been number one on my bucket list for a long time now. Well, really Pink Floyd is, but since that will never happen, my bucket list was Roger Waters and David Gilmour separately. I saw Waters in 2022 and didn’t think I would ever get the opportunity to see Gilmour, but my prayers were answered. Even though I am Team Gilmour (Gilmour Girl, if you will), I actually still consider the Waters concert the best concert I have ever attended to date. While the Gilmour concert was phenomenal and a dream come true, Waters did put on the better show.
Stevie Nicks was a very spur of the moment, last minute decision the day before to make the quick trip over to Nashville and back on the same day. She was incredible and I am so glad I got a chance to see her. Sierra Ferrell was also a somewhat last minute decision about a week before the show and the Memphis trip was very quick as well. Thankful that I live within reasonable driving distance from both of these places. It was really amazing to see her at a relatively small venue and have such close proximity to the stage because I have a feeling in a couple of years those tickets will not be as easy to get.
And Chappell. Chappell became my artist this year. My “year in music” on Apple stats will tell the story. My top artists on Apple this year were 1 - Chappell Roan, 2 - Fleetwood Mac, 3 - Stevie Nicks, 4 - Taylor Swift, and 5 - Sierra Ferrell.
All five of my top 5 songs were Chappell Roan, number one being Pink Pony Club. My number one and number three listened to albums of the year were both Chappell Roan (2 and 4 were Taylor Swift and 5 was Billie Eilish). I listened to Chappell (on Apple) (hey, that rhymed!) for 6,143 minutes in 2024.
When I saw her at Lolla in August, she broke the record for the biggest audience ever at Lollapalooza in their entire history. I was in a crowd of over 100,000 people standing in the hot sun watching her perform a show that will go down in history. Not only because she had a record breaking crowd, but because my body poured sweat for the very first time in my life.
For my whole life, I have been someone who could not sweat. This sounds great, but when you realize it means that my body isn’t cooling itself off or removing impurities, then you will realize it isn’t that great. I can sit in a sauna for 20 mins and be dry as a bone. I get heat stroke super easily. It isn’t safe for me to be in a situation like this.
I began to worry because I was not feeling very well. Her concert was only an hour, since it was part of a festival. I had hoped to stay and see other acts, since I had paid for a whole day at Lolla. However, I had made peace with the fact that if I couldn’t see anyone else, it would be worth it. Especially since a ticket for an entire day at Lolla was still exponentially cheaper than what tickets for single artist concerts are selling for on Ticketmaster (including her solo tour in other venues).
Even though it was just an hour, I was in a crowd of 100,000 people. In the front 1/4th of the crowd. And from side to side, I was smack dab in the middle. Getting out was not possible. I was standing, and standing still is actually harder on me than walking. And it was in the very hot, direct, August sun. In order to conserve all of my energy to make it through the concert without passing out, I had to spend about 75% of it not singing or dancing. Just being still. I was still able to do the Hot to Go dance and sing and move a little bit. But, not as much as I would have liked.
About a third of the way into her set, I began to worry I was not going to make it. My muscles started to become jelly and my legs were buckling, I was feeling faint, and I just didn’t think I could stand anymore. However, something miraculous happened. I began pouring sweat. For the first time in my life, it was literally dripping off me. Streaming down my arms and legs and face. And, somehow, that helped me feel better.
I know how it helped me not feel as hot, which in turn helped with faintness, etc. I am not sure how it helped with my muscles, etc. But, somehow, it overall helped. I also found a way to stretch a bit. Even though it was SUCH a big crowd, what was really lovely about it was that it was the most positive, mature, safe crowd I feel I could have been a part of. We weren’t sardines. We minded our space. People weren’t pushy. I had space to move (at least where I was standing anyways). I didn’t feel anxious that this crowd would start pushing or infringing on my personal space. It was really great vibes.
So, between a fucking phenomenal performance, an iconic crowd, having some space to stretch, and buckets of sweat pouring from me for the very first time—I made it through her whole set. Right after she was done, I had to get out of the crowd and find a spot to sit. I chugged two bottles of water and a coke. I spent about 30 mins recuperating. I was a bit bummed because Kesha was right after Chappell and I really wanted to see her, but I couldn’t manage to stand in the crowd another minute. Luckily, after 30 mins of rest, I was able to go catch the last 30 mins of Kesha. Also, because of where I had been sitting, I was able to work my way into a part of the crowd that actually put me fairly close to the stage. I got to see her perform Praying, which was the one I was hoping to see the most. So, I am grateful for that.
Unfortunately, after that, I had to leave. I would have loved to stay and see Hozier and Megan Thee Stallion and others. But, I just couldn’t manage it. I am so grateful to my friend who bought a ticket and went with me and was so gracious about coming and going with me for just 1.5 shows. Especially since she didn’t know Chappell before I dragged her to this. It means a lot to me to have people who will help me do these things within my limits. I don’t want to sit back and never do anything. I still have a life to live. I just have to live it within very different limits now. Having people willing to be within those limits with me, without complaints, is a gift that I do not take for granted.
By far, the most trouble I went to for a concert this year was going to see David Gilmour in NYC. The man almost never tours and performs any more. When he does perform, it isn’t usually a big tour, it is a one-off show in London. And he hadn’t been to the US in 8 years. I’ve been wanting to see him for over 10 years. I don’t recall why I didn’t see him last time he was here. I don’t remember realizing he was actually here at that time though. Also, he’s 78 years old now, and I couldn’t bank on the possibility that there may be another US tour for him at some future date. It felt like it was now or never.
For this tour, my choices were London, Rome, LA, or NYC. I looked at tickets and flights for LA and NYC, and figured out that overall costs for travel and the concert would be cheaper for NYC. I decided that if anything was worth a shameful, luxurious, indulgence that would make people judge me for what I did with the little money and energy I have, this would be the thing to do. And, I will never have any regrets. Worth it in every possible way. I can die a happy woman having seen the person that I consider the greatest guitar player of all time. I am not saying that technically-speaking, I am saying that Kristaly-speaking. He is my favorite guitar player of all time—since I was in diapers.
So, I do not have a concert I saw this year that I didn’t absolutely love. Stevie Nicks, Sierra Ferrell, Chappell Roan, and David Gilmour were all dreams come true. And my personal favorite songs that I listened to on repeat in 2024 (even if they are from another year) were:
Pink Pony Club by Chappell Roan
My Kink is Karma by Chappell Roan
Stand Back by Stevie Nicks
Everywhere by Fleetwood Mac
Talk to Me by Stevie Nicks
Dreams by Fleetwood Mac
Feminenomen by Chappell Roan
Literally every single song in Chappell Roan’s catalog is at the top of my most listened to songs
An insanely large number of Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood songs and I don’t want to take up the whole post listing them all
Birds of a Feather by Billie Eilish
American Dreaming by Sierra Ferrell
Feathered Indians by Tyler Childers
Take Me to Church by Hozier
Fast Car the Tracy Chapman & Luke Combs duet at the Grammy’s version
Talk Tonight by Oasis
In Dreams by Sierra Ferrell
We Found Love by Rihanna
God Only Knows by The Beach Boys
Shine (cover) by Dolly Parton
Supersonic by Oasis
the 1 by Taylor Swift
Oh Sherrie by Steve Perry
Smalltown Boy by Bronski Beat
Charleston Girl by Tyler Childers
I Still Believe by Tim Capello (yes, the saxophone song in The Lost Boys)
Will You Marry Me by Paula Abdul
Sledgehammer (cover) by Harry Styles
Style by Taylor Swift
Blank Space by Taylor Swift
High Hopes by David Gilmour
Be Like That by Three Doors Down (LOL)
And I think, for probably the first year ever, and this makes me kind of sad, my all time favorite song wasn’t on the very top repeat list. But, I still listened to it several times. So, honorable mention to Everybody Wants to Rule the World by Tears for Fears. Another honorable mention that I know I listened to a lot was Learning to Fly by Pink Floyd and How Do I Deal by Jennifer Love Hewitt (LOL).
A new one that I have added to the rotation that I want to highly suggest you check out is Cayuse by Kassi Valazza.
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Best Moments of 2024 - Life with this illness has kicked my ass in so many ways. Ways that have not been shared publicly and so many people have no idea about. This year I had medical procedures that were incredibly painful and dangerous, days of worrying about test results that could have been life threatening, multiple trips to the ER, 10 days of being unable to walk, feeling suicidal, decades long relationships ending, grief and heartbreak that felt unbearable that I can’t write about, firing an unprofessional caseworker, firing an unprofessional attorney, using every ounce of energy I had to hold boundaries in so many areas of my life, spending day after day for the first four months of the year fighting and doing endless admin work to get disability, and feeling like shit for a lot of those days.
So, after that uplifting speech, I bet you are wondering why I titled this section the “best” moments, huh? Well, I had to tell you what I was up against so you can understand why these moments were the best.
I put my foot down and stopped seeing doctors who are not taking proper care of me. I am being incredibly picky with who I see, AND I am taking a BIG break from appointments because most of them were not helping me. The rest and relaxation I am able to get from not running around to appointments all the time has been far more useful. The quiet time to check in with my body and see what it needs has been incredibly beneficial. I did a major overhaul and am seeing much better, and fewer, medical professionals now because of what I encountered earlier this year.
The test results came back negative for the results that would have been life threatening.
In one of my trips to the ER, that landed me in the hospital for a few days, I saw an angel, and had an incredibly transformative spiritual awakening during that time. This was a few days before the total solar eclipse. It led me down a path that has significantly changed me. It led me to Ireland.
I learned a lot about who I can rely on and who I can trust. And how careful I need to be with myself, my feelings, my energy, and me. It sounds negative to say, but it has been proven time and time again that there are people out there silently watching what I do and rooting against me. Or at least sending a lot of negative and sometimes jealous energy my way. I am getting a lot better at not letting it affect me, invade me, worry me, upset me, etc. I am getting much better at having my boundaries and protection, without closing myself off to the good positive energy and people. Learning the balance of sharing myself publicly and knowing there will be criticisms and small town gossip, but not letting myself be open to absorbing it. I am better at transmuting it and/or sending it back now.
On the flip side of that, I have experienced a much deeper and more profound love and trust with people who I am so strongly connected and bonded to. It feels really fulfilling to have truly trusting and vulnerable relationships where I know I am safe and can be exactly as I am.
Becoming my own caseworker, rocking the shit out of it, and getting an article out of it that paid really well and added a professional writing credit to my roster. (see Sick Times article at top of post).
Firing a shitty attorney and then finding an amazing attorney who is employed by the state and thusly doesn’t take any fees whatsoever, so if they agree to accept your disability case and if you win—you keep all your money and they take none.
That amazing free attorney accepting you and your case, you win your case, and after two years of fighting and two prior denials you are finally approved for disability and don’t have to be in the depths of despair about money every single day. Your savings are gone. Your entire retirement is completely drained. But just in the nick of time, when there are no more hail mary’s left, disability finally comes through. Yes, that was me! That all happened for me! The hearing date was set for April (which I will get into all the details about when I get to that point in my “long-haul” series on here when I pick that back up soon), and I received the approval notification in May. The first payment came in July 2024. I applied in Aug 2022.
I put YEARS of things I learned in therapy to use this year—especially when it comes to boundaries. It was hard as FUCK. I made a lot of mistakes. But good lord, I had a lot of successes too, and came leaps and bounds, and I am really GD proud of myself.
I started feeling significantly better for significantly longer periods of time. I still go through ups and downs. I still have a lot of rough days. But I have found a lot of things that I can do on my own that really make a difference. I found a routine that has helped me A LOT. I got myself to a point where I was able to manage travel to celebrate winning disability and all the hard work. When I say “significantly”, that is of course in proportion to where I was at before, and not in terms of where a regular person is at. But I will take it as a big win. I am going to keep doing what I know works, and keep searching for more things that work to add to that. I am going to keep believing that I am turning a corner and someday all these little differences can make a really big difference.
I went to Ireland, and its one of the best things that has ever happened to me. It changed me. I won’t expand upon that. Because anything less than a million, trillion words would not do it justice. Plus, I already wrote about it here.
I started learning Celtic reiki.
I finished the first draft of my first book and my book proposal
I changed my hair to its natural color
Hugged trees almost every day
Started seeing a very non-judgemental, non-triggering, kind and sympathetic, medical weight loss doctor and nutritionist
Had weekly appointments with the best therapist I’ve ever had
Flipped a canoe over in a swamp and swam to safety—ok, I know this doesn’t sound like a “best” moment, but this whole thing was so hilarious to me that it is going on the list. Wanna hear that story? Here ya go!
All the concerts I mentioned
Moved to a lovely new house
All the times I got to be cool Auntie Krista to my friends’ daughters (none of the sons think I am cool)
And, again, sometimes getting paid to write, or do astrology stuff, etc.
Thank you all, again, for supporting this Substack! I hope you all are able to make your own lists of things you can be grateful for this year. Things you can learn from. And intentions to move forward with. I have found that finding gratitude within your grief can be really beneficial. Allowing yourself the space to grieve is essential. Working on daily gratitude, even for really small things, is such a game changer. Audiobooks count as reading and they are amazing. My crotch will never stop upstaging me in pictures. Fun fashion always makes me feel at least marginally better. And being the main character in your own story is gonna attract a few “evil eyes” on you, so make sure to put on some cute pants that give you an outrageous camel toe, or some sort of big poof in the crotchal region, and live your damn life anyways.