Woof! Mercury Retrograde Has Been Cray, Huh?

Hey friends! My apologies that it has been more than a minute since I’ve posted. The last time I sat down to write was April 21st, and things did not going according to plan.

On April 21, I was all set up to write at my favorite tea shop. I had settled into my favorite swing chair, with my favorite tea, and matcha and taro donuts! I was wearing a cute writing outfit and took a selfie and a pic of my set-up.

I was trying to pump myself up and get myself in a better mood after a really terrible doctor’s appointment I had the prior day, and this seemed like a great way to wash that stink off of me. I logged on to the internet to get started, and checked my email.

I had an email from Social Security. My disability was denied. The disability that I filed for in August 2022. That had taken them 8 months to review. The disability I was desperately counting on due to the fact that with my long-haul Covid I can’t hold down any kind of substantial job with passable income. The disability I was praying for as I fall further and further into debt because I have so little income and so little ability to bring in any more.

Ugh. I should have known I would get this message on the first day of Mercury in Retrograde. *insert eye roll and heavy sigh here*

I took a deep breath, calmed and centered myself, and took myself through my positive self-talk.

Going into this disability process, I knew that they deny almost everyone the first time. I knew that now it is time to get an attorney to appeal it. This shouldn’t have been a surprise. But, it was still devastating.

Now I am going to lose 25% of my back pay to an attorney if we win. I am going to have to wait God knows how much longer for this to go through all the legal stuff. And long-haul is so new, a lot of local attorney’s aren’t even taking these cases, so I gotta hope I can get one to take me on.

I stopped myself from spiraling, but knew I was in no shape to write. However, I didn’t want to completely give up. I had come all this way and settled in to my spot and had the outfit and the snacks.

Ok, I will just spend some time cleaning out junk email and reading some of the writer’s newsletters I am subscribed to. Then, hopefully, I can calm down a little, and then start writing something.

I opened the first writing newsletter I am subscribed to. Maybe there are some cool opportunities of places I could submit some article pitches to?

Upon opening it, the bolded headline is about all of the layoffs at all of the online journals that I have just sent a bunch of pitches to, including one I have a lead at. Now, not only do I feel terrible for all the people laid off, but I have no idea if my lead is a lead any more.

Oh, of course you would do this Mercury Retrograde. The planet of communication moving backwards isn’t exactly a good time for writers. (As we are seeing with the recent writer’s strike, as well).

Ok, now I just had the rest of the wind sucked out of me for the day. I shut my computer. Grabbed the remainder of my drink and donut to go. And I headed back home. I would try another day. Today is not the day.

It’s important to be extra careful with your writing, communicating, emails, etc during Mercury Retrograde. It is a good time to lay low and be introspective. You can write, but just be careful before you hit publish. Be extra cautious about what you put out in the world.

The same goes with your conversations and any kind of communicating you are doing. It is a good time to recharge and rest. My whole body and mind just felt like that is what I needed to do.

So, that is what I did.

Now, Merc Ret isn’t over yet, but we are in the last week of it now, and I am starting to feel a bit better (mentally). I have spent a lot of time honoring what my body and mind felt like it needed. A lot of rest and sleep. Journaling, meditating, and tears. Gratitude practices. Drives with the windows down and the music loud. Snuggles with my mom while watching movies. Confiding in friends and receiving love and support in return.

I’m starting to come out of the funk and feel better. One of the best things I had at my disposal for the last few weeks, is the memory of the week before. The week before Merc Ret started was my 40th birthday celebration with a few of my bestest friends.

A while back, a few of my besties came together and worked with each other to plan and create the most beautiful and loving birthday weekend for me. Then, when the time came, they flew and drove from all over the country, and made me feel more special and loved than I have in a very long time.

I didn’t plan a thing, I didn’t lift a finger, I didn’t pay a dime, and I was completely taken care of and supported all weekend. It was designed to go at a slow pace to help nurture my low energy. Nothing started early, so I could sleep in. And they covered all 5 love languages in spades.

One of the things they did for me, was they all spent time writing several little encouraging and loving notes to me. Then they put them all in a vase. I was told when I am having a hard day, I can reach into that vase and pull one out to read and feel better. To feel the love and support from my friends, even after they had all returned home.

Side note - I am sitting in a cafe writing this right now, with tears streaming down my face. Gosh, it is so fun to just be sitting in a public place crying like a lunatic.

Well, you can imagine those notes have come in handy during this Merc Ret period of time. I have pulled about 5 or 6, and they have made me feel so much better. Then, I lay and reminisce about the weekend we had, and how loved and supported I felt.

I also think about how much love and support I feel from my immediate family and all of my other friends near and far. I lean into the gratitude I have for them and their love. It helps me deal with the roadblocks I keep encountering with medical insurance not covering treatments, dismissive doctors, disability denials, and this crazy unpredictable illness.

There is so much more to be said about how absolutely wonderful my 40th birthday was. So much so that I will write a whole post dedicated to that next time. I want to do it the justice it deserves. So, dear reader, please help me remember to do that and hold me to it. I tend to forget things these days.

Ok, now I am going to do some work on an exciting secret project I have been dreaming up for a while. I look forward to telling you about that very soon! I will release it AFTER Mercury Retrograde. Nothing good would come from trying to tell you about it now. LOL!

Actually, that project will probably be my next blog post. Then, after that, I can do the 40th birthday post. How does that sound?

Love you guys! Here I am writing today at my other favorite cafe in my favorite chair. I don’t like the drinks here as much, but the chair is much comfier. Have a good day! Talk to you soon! xo - K