We Don’t Have The Spoons

A letter from the people with chronic illnesses and disabilities to the people who continually try to take our spoons

Dear able-bodied and healthy spoon stealers,

We don’t have the spoons to help you understand that we are in a phase of having nothing to give, and needing to be able to receive for a change.

We don’t have the spoons to attend every event you think we should be at, or to deal with the guilt trips you lay when we can’t come.

We don’t have the spoons for your empty offers of help that only ever amount to you bailing.

We don’t have the spoons to tell you that if you don’t have anything positive to add to our lives, then please see your way out.

We don’t have the spoons to respond thoughtfully, mindfully, and conscientiously to the words that are sent to us in quick anger, lack of thinking it through, and obliviousness to how you’re coming across.

We don’t have the spoons to handle all of your issues. We don’t even have the spoons to handle our own.

And we don’t have the spoons to communicate to you that it’s not cool of you to steal our spoons by submerging us with your issues that belong in therapy and not with us.

We don’t have the spoons to watch 30 reels and read 5 articles a day that are sent to us based completely on your interests and have zero to do with our own.

We don’t have the spoons to take care of ourselves. So we definitely don’t have the spoons to take care of you.

We don’t have the spoons to constantly tell you that we don’t have the spoons.

Yet we continually use spoons that we don’t have to try to do all of these things. For you. We’re tired of it. If you had any idea how hard it was to feel this consistently rough, you’d think twice about the energy you’re draining from us. But you don’t. And you continually expect us to use our few spoons for you, and give us none in return.

From now on, we’re switching to knives and cutting you off.

With all do respect—Go Fork Yourself!

Sincerely,

The Spoonies

****Bonus Letters to Fellow Spoonies and to Able-Bodied Non-Selfish Spoon Full of Sugar Peeps!****

*Hey Spoonies! Friendly reminder that in 2025 “boundaries” is our key word. Let’s stop feeling guilty for not being able-bodied, and stop feeling responsible for people who refuse to think of people outside themselves. Let’s Strain out the sour self-involved peeps and connect with more a-Peeling folks. See you Laddle! Love you, K

*Hello my dear empathetic and lovely, able-bodied, non-selfish, spoonful of sugar peeps!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for always understanding when I need my space and rest. Thank you for putting my needs first during this stage of my life when I can’t be there for you the way I used to. Thank you for using a gentle tone and approach. Thank you for understanding when I don’t have the spoons to come through. Thank you for having the empathy and self-awareness to check in, offer help, follow through, and expect nothing in return. Thank you for not Grating on my nerves. Someday I hope to Whisk you away to a beautiful vacation to show my appreciation. I Forking love you! - Krista

Special Note - To anyone who doesn’t like puns, I’m truly sorry. I couldn’t resist. I’ll stop.