Three Gratitudes and an Affirmation

Hey friends! This week, I need to talk about how hard things are for seemingly everyone. Is it just me, or are we all going through the absolute ringer right now? Everyone I know is at a 15 out of 10 maxed out, defcon level catrillion, ready to burst levels of stress.

Every time I post something about a stressful astrological transit - people are like YUP! Whenever I post a meme about stress or trauma or going through a hard time - people immediately jump in and say “I really needed this right now”. Every one I talk to is going through massively hard times. Like, not regular stress or run-of-the-mill “being an adult is hard” shit. Legit beyond hard stuff is happening to people right now. I am no exception to this. I have some shit going on too, and my nervous system is wrecked. And I know for a fact I am not alone.

So, what am I doing to help with the stress and calibrate my nervous system? Well, I will tell you. And I am really hoping that at least one thing in here is something that can help you if you are going through hard times, too.

• Weekly therapy appointments. Can’t stress this enough, it is the best self-care I will ever do for myself.

• Morning and nighttime meditations. When I wake-up, after I pee, but before I do anything else, I do a 5 minute calming meditation. Before I go to bed at night, I meditate for however long I feel I need. Guys, even if you do 5 minutes, it helps. Usually guided meditations on Youtube or an app are a great way for beginners to meditate.

• I have stopped checking everything on my phone as soon as I wake up. Texts can wait until after I have meditated and ate breakfast. Social media can wait until my head is on straight. Returning calls and listening to voicemails can wait an extra 30 minutes. I have forced myself to start my day with affirmations, meditation, breakfast, and time for myself before I open my phone and see what steaming pile of shit is awaiting me.

• DO NOT DISTURB - I understand that not everyone has the luxury of turning on DND on their phone as often as I do. However, if you can find any way to prioritize like at least 15-60 mins of the day where you can silence your phone, I would recommend it. I don’t think we realize just how much the constant buzzing and alerts and noise and distractions from our phone are absolutely driving us crazy. We aren’t allowing our nervous system time to calibrate and rest.

• BLOCK THE MOTHER F*CKER - Is there someone or something in your life that is causing you nothing but negativity? Are you in a position to go “no contact” with them? Then block them. Quit looking at their social media page. Quit following everything they do. Quit letting them come into your space and hurt you. If you aren’t in a space to completely cut off contact, then don’t block their texts, but block them on social media. Do not let fuckers live “rent-free” in your head. Focus on you. Focus on what you have to offer the world. Focus on putting your best foot forward. Focus on putting love in the world. Focus on what and who is going to make you happy. Do not give power to people who are doing nothing but making you feel like crap. Block, or unfriend, or unfollow, or mute or something. Take the time you would have spent engrossed in their nonsense, and put something positive into the world instead. Make a post that is really uplifting, and engage with the people who respond positively. I guarantee you will feel a lot better after creating positive interactions.

• Last, but not least, the title of this article. Three gratitudes and an affirmation. A few weeks ago, I was in a very bad place mentally, and my therapist suggested I start each day with three gratitudes and an affirmation. And it is working like gangbusters. I wake up, I leave my phone on silent, I go pee (I know this is the second time I have mentioned this, but it’s a really important part of my morning apparently), I get back in bed and I meditate for 5 minutes, I check my astrology for the day to prepare myself, and then I do my 3G/1A. I do this before I do ANYTHING ELSE, and it is making my day a whole hell of a lot easier to manage. Finding gratitude doesn’t mean you need to diminish, dismiss, or avoid any real pain and problems in your life. However, you can simultaneously be dealing with a shit storm and grateful for things. And what you are going through can be really freaking hard, and it’s ok to honor that. But, as trite as it sounds, if that is ALL you are focused on, you are way less likely to find solutions, heal, calm down, and get through it. You have got to counteract it with some better shit. And I am telling you, this helps. They can be big, they can be small, they can be silly, and they can be serious. But just re-circuiting your brain to focus on something besides your problems can turn your day around. Here are some examples of my recent gratitudes and affirmations:

  • I am grateful for my cat Jojo being so snuggly with me

  • I am grateful that my mom cooked me breakfast when I didn’t feel well

  • I am grateful that a friend bought me a new TV when mine broke and I was trying to be careful with my spending

  • I am grateful that I am taking a relaxing mother/daughter getaway to Eastern Kentucky next week

  • I am grateful to my brother and sister-in-law for taking me to a fun witchy triple-feature at the drive-in this weekend

  • I am grateful that when I left my phone in a Walgreens bathroom that no one stole it (I was angry AF that I left my phone there and had to drive 2 hours to go get it, but I turned it into something that not only was I angry about, but I was also grateful that no one took it.)

  • I am grateful for my ability to write this blog, and for the people who read it

  • I am grateful that I finally have good doctors and medical providers in place who actually care about my chronic illness and are genuinely trying really hard to help me

  • I am grateful to my friend Emily for doing photo shoots for me for all of my business offerings (PS - stay tuned for a new service I am getting ready to offer!)

  • I am grateful to my friend Amber for cooking me dinner on Monday’s after my therapy sessions

  • I am grateful for my migraine medicine

  • Affirmation - I have pretty hair

  • Affirmation - I am a really good friend

  • Affirmation - I have some pretty bad ass life skills and street smarts

  • Affirmation - I get shit done

  • Affirmation - I have a cool sense of fashion

  • Affirmation - I am a tasteful decorator

  • Affirmation - I help people with their healing

  • Affirmation - I am a talented writer

  • Affirmation - I am a badass and will get through anything and come out on top because I am persistent AF and know my worth

Alright friends, you get the idea. I encourage you to wake up each day and ignore your phone for a few minutes, meditate for a few minutes, and then do 3 gratitude’s and an affirmation before you jump into this hectic world. And I encourage you when you are feeling filled with fear, to turn to love instead. Replace some of the time you are spending getting worked up about things and people that are beyond your control, with focusing on and reaching out to things and people that fill you with love and light. I know it is easier said than done, and I am not saying run away from your problems. But, if you can at least try it for a bit, just for me, I think you will feel a little better. Love you!

P.S. - Every time you are ready to fester, just think of Uncle Fester - and laugh cause he looks ridiculous! Bahahaha. I am so weird.