Spiritual Gatekeepers

I know a fair amount of people who have had some troublesome experiences when it comes to their religious and/or spiritual beliefs because of how people will treat them due to their beliefs. For most of my life, the stories I have heard involve someone of a certain religion telling someone of another religion that their beliefs are wrong. And on the flip side, in my personal experience, people who are members of the same religion often tend to validate each other and not question or challenge the beliefs of their shared religion. Usually when I have seen challenges and disagreements, it has been between people of different religions.

I am certainly not saying these are the only types of religious riffs that exist. And I am not even saying these are the majority of spiritual spats in existence. I am saying that in my experience, this is usually where I see the faithly fights happening. (Yes, I know faithly isn’t a word, but I was enjoying my alliteration too much.)

I grew up Catholic, but in a household where we took religion with a grain of salt, we didn’t read the bible, and church was going through the motions to appease grandparents. From a young age I was curious about other religions, and was encouraged to check them out. In junior high I started attending various worship services with different friends and experienced many varieties of religions first hand. I have continued to do this throughout the my life thus far. I saw things I liked, and I saw things that didn’t.

There was also a lot of discussion in my house about different Eastern religions. I was encouraged to read and learn about them. I found a lot more here that resonated with me than I did with Western religions. I loved the idea of past lives, reincarnation, and that Eastern religion was often grounded in philosophy. I liked that a lot of it seemed like a very personal and private practice. In some cases, it was very much about an individual relationship, rather than having to believe everything the community believed.

I am absolutely NOT a religious expert, so I assume and understand that there may be several Eastern religions that are more about gathering and practicing with your community. However, the ones I was reading about struck me more as practices that allowed the individual to have their own beliefs. They agreed that everyone could have a different set of beliefs, and that was absolutely acceptable. Whereas my experience with Western religions were that you must believe the exact same things each person believed within that religion, and that other religions were wrong.

I know many people who practice Western religions and still have their own set of beliefs and don’t mind straying from some of the pillars of their church. Such as women who are Catholic and believe in abortion rights. Or Baptists who believe that being gay is absolutely ok and the way God intended. Even if their church says differently. They are able to go to the buffet of religious rules and pick and choose what they want. They don’t mind agreeing with 85% of what their religion says and just ignoring the 15% that they don’t. No hate from me. You do you.

As for me, I cannot do that. I simultaneously believe in being open-minded about other people having their own religious beliefs, AND cannot join a religion that has pillars that I am against. I am not going to tell you what to believe, as I love that we all have different beliefs. But I can’t go worship at a place that has components that I personally disagree with. I could love 90% of the things a church stands for, but if they believe homosexuality is wrong, then I am OUT. If they are anti-abortion, I am OUT. The list goes on and on. I do not want to spend my time being preached at about things that, in my personal book of morals, are not aligned.

I have spent a lot of time in many different churches, talking to many different people, and reading many different things. I have not blindly made these decisions for myself. And, I am still open to my mind being changed about many things. However, I have learned that I will not change my mind, or learn anything that I find helpful or spiritually moving, in those previously mentioned environments.

Through all of my research, I am continually formulating what works for me. At the end of the day, I believe the most important thing is to love people and not hurt anyone. As humans, unfortunately, we will sometimes hurt people. We are imperfect. I am guilty of this. However, my goal is to strive to love and not hurt. I try to get better each day. I believe that is something that everyone should do.

I also believe that we are hurting people, and not loving them, if we are excluding them and preaching against them if what they are doing isn’t hurting anyone. For example, someone being trans does not hurt anyone at all. I love trans people, and my beliefs are inclusive of them. As such, religious exclusionary practices for this population are against “my religion”. If what someone is doing is hurting people, for instance being a member of a group that goes around participating in violent and hateful acts against minorities, then they are going against “my religion”.

I am ok with different beliefs, so long as you are not hurting people. If you don’t believe in reincarnation like me—that’s cool. Those beliefs don’t hurt anyone. If you like reading the Bible every day and I don’t—no problem here! Again, it won’t hurt me if you do. If you don’t believe in praying and a higher power, yet I pray at the altar I have created on my desk—all good man. I can accept all that and more!

Now, sometimes our different beliefs and morals could be so vast that it leads to us not being a good match as friends, as we have nothing in common, and that’s perfectly alright. But I strive not to approach you and tell you that your beliefs are wrong. Because I have no right to tell you something is “right or wrong”. I just choose to align myself with people who share more similar values. I try to only speak up when the person’s beliefs are leading to something that hurts people.

Over the years, I have been adding, eliminating, refining, and building my belief system. My spiritual practice is a hodgepodge of things I have learned that come from MANY cultures and areas. If it resonates with me, and feels right, I adopt it. If it doesn’t, I either move on, or in some cases I try to learn more and challenge myself before deciding whether to bring it into my practice.

Things like reiki, astrology, crystals, Mother Earth and Father Sky, guardian angels, spirit guides, animal messengers, kundalini, God, meditation, reincarnation, manifestation, honesty, love, chakras, ancestors, and my dead cat Thomas (LOL) are all part of my spiritual practice. The Religion of Krista, or “Kristanity” includes all of that and more. And it has been working for me for a long time. I have been practicing many of these things longer than I have been publicly talking about them. However, my practice has deepened quite a bit over the past handful of years.

Something very interesting, and unexpected, has happened over the past few years, though. I am encountering people within these practices that I have been quite taken aback to encounter. Gatekeepers. I naively thought that other people who were into all these same things as me must also be the types that would just be open to your beliefs and experiences. That they wouldn’t tell you you’re wrong and look down their noses at you. However, they seem to be plentiful in our Western world. Heck, maybe I do it too? I try really hard not to, but I try to be mindful of keeping it in check.

Upon being more open in my experiences, and looking to find a community of people who share these same spiritual practices—I am finding the same type of closed-mindedness exists. Which, I very much thought would be different in these kinds of practices.

What I was actually expecting was to get push back and negativity from people with other beliefs. As opposed to people with the “same” beliefs. For instance, I was wondering if when I made posts about my witchy pagan practices with spells and herbs and crystals and such, that someone who was of a very different set of religious beliefs might come after me. Now, maybe I just am not personally connected to anyone like that? Even though I live in an area of the country that, for the most part, is very different from me in a religious capacity. Maybe, at this point, I have created my social media community to be one that doesn’t have anyone like that? And maybe my public social media stuff isn’t showing up on the algorithms of people who are? I mean knock on wood, but I was prepared for some unkind comments and to be put on the defensive, based on my past experiences with stuff like this.

What I was not prepared for was to be put on the defensive for my spiritual practices by people who are in the same community and hold almost exactly the same types of beliefs, on more than a few occasions. Yet, that is what I have encountered more than anything as I have started to open myself up more.

Instances such as—sharing my story with a healer about a journey I have been going through with my chakras and spiritual enlightenment for 15 years. I was met with some incredulity and was told, in so many words, that it would normally take a lifetime to go through what I was explaining had happened to me. Then there was a time that I was chatting with a tarot reader about some visions and signs I had been given when meditating and how I had interpreted them. They frowned and started condescendingly talking down to me and acting as if I hadn’t experienced these things and that my interpretations were incorrect. I’ve also had fellow witches send me unsolicited messages about how I burned an herb wrong and didn’t set the right intentions for the right moon phase. Once, I met a fellow astrology enthusiast who had a VERY different interpretation of an astrological transit than all of the astrologers I study, and acted like I was quite stupid and knew nothing about astrology when I shared my thoughts on the transit.

My practice is my practice. My interpretations are my interpretations. My intuition is my intuition. My journey is my journey. I am not hurting anyone. I don’t think there is a “wrong” way to do this or experience this. I understand there is a lot of information out there, and I enjoy learning the information. It is nice to have a base to grow from, and an understanding of the history. But anyone worth their salt in these fields will tell you it is all about your own intention, wisdom, intuition, and journey with these practices. Your spirit guides are sending you the messages you need to hear and the places you need to look.

You may have a book that says green fluorite is associated with the crown chakra and promotes spiritual enlightenment. And I may have a book that says it is associated with the heart chakra and promotes grounding and calms the chaos. You may use mugwort to enhance psychic powers and I may use it for protection and feminine cycles. I may have received a message from a platypus animal guide and when I look up the meaning of that, the site I am drawn to will tell me that it symbolizes the need for solitude so that I can recharge. That is what my guides wanted me to know and pointed me towards. You, however, may look it up and be drawn to a description that says it means you need to honor your true self, and that is what your guides were pointing you towards.

To many of you, all of this probably sounds completely bonkers. LOL! And that is absolutely ok. This is the kind of shizz I have been into for awhile now. For some people, this may be intriguing or something you are also into.

The point I want to make is that I am still learning, and I don’t mind being taught things. I just think it is nice for the other person to 1 - wait to be asked for their knowledge, 2 - OR ask me if they can share their knowledge, 3 - don’t negate someone’s lived experience, and 4 - don’t be condescending about it. I don’t want to be told I should disregard my intuition because the other person likes to only set intentions during the New Moon (which is the traditionally accepted way), yet I was bedridden with no energy during the New Moon and couldn’t get to my altar to do it. However, at another point during the month I felt the call and the energy to do it. My personal spirit guides don’t mind. We’ve chatted about it.

Anywho. I am just noticing a fair amount of snobbery and pretentiousness in this community that I wasn’t expecting. (Please note that I have met far more people who aren’t snobby, than who are. But I have met way more people who are gatekeepers than I expected to.) It feels like spiritual gatekeeping. They seem to act like I can’t possibly know as much as they know, or be as advanced at it as they are. Or that I am a fraud because I am a bubbly blonde extrovert who wears pink and not a brooding brunette introvert who wears black (no offense to anyone who is any of these things, but it just felt too clever not to write. I love you all!) It can come across as if I am not worthy of practicing what they practice, because I am not at their “level”.

I guess I assumed that anyone who was into this witchy woo woo stuff, would also be the kind of people who were into my Eastern philosophies of letting people do their own thing and believe their own beliefs. But, I made an incorrect assumption. I guess this is all a good lesson for me. I had some biases against Bible Belt people, and thought they would come after me when I talked about my Pagan-esque practices. So far, that hasn’t happened. And I assumed that fellow witchy people would be super open-minded and welcoming. You just can’t lump people into certain categories as being all the same. Gatekeepers exist everywhere. Because, at the end of the day, people are gonna people. I really should get that through my thick head.