Some Self-Care Suggestions

Hey friends! This week’s post is gonna be short and sweet, since last week’s Pluto in Aquarius was SO long (and took me so long to write). I do want to give a quick shout out to all of the people who reached out to tell me how helpful and informative they found the post. Having people tell me it was the only time they have ever had astrology explained to them in a way they could understand, really made my day more than you could know. And I also appreciated the questions that were sent to me.

The response I got validated what I was saying about my 3/5 Human Design type. The fact that I am meant to try things and experiment, then share my findings with people, and explain it in first-hand ways that can save people the time and frustration that I am apparently meant to go through. LOL. The experiences aren’t all frustrating though. I would be bored if I didn’t get into all the shenanigans I get into.

One more call out before I get into some of my self-care suggestions—I finished my book proposal and have officially sent it out to the first literary agent on my list! It is going to be beyond hard to get this book published the traditional way, since I am a literal unknown with so few professional writing credits to my name, and relatively few followers compared to others in the field. However, I am insanely proud of myself for all of the hard work I have put in (especially considering everything I am going through with my health), and for being willing to put myself out there. I get articles rejected constantly. And I fully anticipate to get this book rejected constantly. But, I don’t give up.

It’s funny because rejection usually just fuels me more. I tend to stop doing something when I start to achieve some success at it. Then I get bored and move on to the next thing I can fail at… until I stop failing at that one, too. LOL. I really hope I can stop doing that this time around. I do feel like this field will provide the endless challenges I seem to need in my life for some god awful reason.

Anywho, I just wanted to thank everyone who has been so supportive and shared such encouraging words and good vibes. And I wanted to ask anyone reading this, if you are so inclined, I could use any good vibes/prayers/positive thoughts/or whatever you prefer to send out there for this book. The road ahead is completely paved with massive blocks that make traditional publishing next to impossible these days. But, if I don’t try, I will never know. So if you can spare some positive vibes to send out for me, I would very much appreciate it.

Without further ado, here are some new self-care tips I have been trying lately and really enjoying. Thought I would pass along!

1 - Qigong - With my long-haul Covid, heavy aerobic exercise isn’t possible for me. In fact, 30 mins of slow walking isn’t even possible for me. My doctor tells me trying to do so would make me worse (which I can 100% say has been my experience when I have tried). However, getting no movement makes me feel worse, too. So, it has been a challenge to find exercises that I can handle, and that straddle the line between too much and not enough.

Qigong was suggested to me by my dietician. The Google definition of it is “Qigong, pronounced “chi gong,” was developed in China thousands of years ago as part of traditional Chinese medicine. It involves using exercises to optimize energy within the body, mind, and spirit, with the goal of improving and maintaining health and well-being. Qigong, is a system of coordinated body-posture and movement, breathing, and meditation said to be useful for the purposes of health, spirituality, and martial arts training.”

I started doing this once a day, for about 10-12 mins, about a month ago, and I have to say I really enjoy it. It is very accessible to me with my disability, and I feel really good after I do it. It is slow and peaceful. It helps me release the stored trauma in my body.

I think in western civilization we think the only useful exercise is FUCKING HARD CORE MONSTER CROSSFIT AND THROWING MY WEIGHTS ON THE FLOOR AND SCREAMING AND POUNDING MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS WHILE I PUNCH MY GYM BRO IN THE FACE. Or, we think that the only way to exercise is running full out marathons 12x a year and shredding our knees by the age of 50. Absolutely no hate to the cross-fitters and runners out there. I am envious of people who have the energy, stamina, and ability to do these things. I have just seen some people turn their nose up at other exercises, as if they aren’t useful. While simultaneously wearing their bodies completely out by going too hard with American fitness.

In America, the biggest (and a lot of time only) reason people tend to want to exercise is to achieve a certain body/look. And a lot of time these intense American workouts don’t come close to addressing the mental portion of fitness. In fact, sometimes they oppose addressing it. Channeling all your rage into a punching bag can be useful from time to time. However, it can’t be the only way you let off steam. Exercise used as a way to avoid dealing with emotional and mental health problems seems to be rewarded in our society. However, I would argue that it isn’t as “healthy” as we make it out to be.

Exercise is a great part of the equation. It can be a healthy way to deal with issues. But it isn’t healthy if it is the only way you are dealing with issues. The same way it isn’t healthy to eat your pain, or not get movement at all—I would argue it is also not healthy to think lifting weights is the only thing you need to do to address your health.

Ok, hopping down off my soapbox here—all that to say that while qigong doesn’t feel like a traditional hardcore workout, it is a great way to get slow, gentle movement that works parts of your body that you never address. It gets the “energy” in your body flowing in ways it isn’t used to. It releases trauma that you have (probably unknowingly) stored in your muscles. (Plus, cortisol—the stress hormone—holds on to fat. Doing an exercise specifically designed to release stress, even if it is slow and gentle, can also be beneficial.)

Qigong is a physical way of getting more mentally and emotionally in touch with yourself. This is a holistic approach to wellness. Physical movement combined with more spiritual and mental elements. It’s not uncommon for me to just lay there and cry as I am releasing tension and deeply-stored emotions in my body.

This is a great exercise to do when you first wake-up and/or before you go to bed. I find it helps me get energized and ready for the day. It soothes my body and head and wakes me up before I have to deal with the shit show that awaits me. AND there are ones designed to help you sleep better. It helps you unwind and clear your head at the end of the day, and it is a bit easier to fall asleep.

I have found a ton of free ones on YouTube that I really like. And they have them anywhere from 5 mins up to… I don’t know, A LOT of mins. I haven’t gotten beyond 15. Here is my favorite one to do before bed.

2 - Somatic exercise - for all the same reasons as above, I am loving this one, too. It feels very similar to me, and it really helps you focus on what is going on internally, through physical movement. I tend to like to do somatic in the morning, and qigong before I go to bed. But sometimes I swap them. I tend to do anywhere from 5-15 mins of this. It also works really well with my limited capabilities due to my illness. But this is for anyone. You don’t have to be disabled to get use out of it.

The Somatic Movement Center says this about it “Let’s start with what ‘somatic’ means. The term somatic means ‘of or relating to the living body,’ and it’s used in medical terminology; for example, somatic cell, somatic nervous system, somatic disorder, and somatic pain. The word soma means ‘the body as perceived from within.’ Since the definitions of soma and somatic are fairly generic, they can be used to describe a variety of forms of movement and healing modalities. Pretty much any type of movement or therapy that involves paying attention to your internal physical sensations and experiences can correctly be described as somatic. A somatic movement is a movement that’s practiced consciously with the intention of focusing on the internal experience of the movement rather than the external appearance or the end result of the movement.” So with this definition, I feel like qigong could be considered “somatic”. Here is their site to read about it more fully if you wish.

I, personally, have insanely tight hips and am storing a ton of my emotional pain in my hips and jaw. When I do this exercise, I can find ones on Youtube that focus on these areas, and I can work to release all of the stress, tension, and bullshit I have piling up in these areas. Again, it is not uncommon to cry while doing this. But, whether I cry or not, it always feels like a nice release. Here is a Youtube I have enjoyed for a hip release somatic exercise.

2b - Somatic Shaking - I cannot remember where I saw this or heard about it, but I do this EVERY morning now. Some mornings, I don’t have the time or energy to do any of the above mentioned stuff. But I never forgo a few seconds of this. Literally just shake out your whole body.

Have you ever noticed how when a cat gets up from sleeping, it will stretch and then shake its whole body? Or, how an animal that was about to be attacked, and just froze, will shake from head to toe after the threat leaves? I assume you are familiar with fight or flight responses. And maybe you are familiar that freeze and fawn are also trauma responses.

Throughout our lives, we are actively choosing responses to stress on a very regular basis. And all of these above mentioned responses have their downfalls. Your body stores that stress. And more often than not, we don’t properly release it. Especially, in the moment it happens. You may get yelled at when you are at work, and you can’t leave and go to the gym and punch a punching bag. But, you can excuse yourself to go to the bathroom real quick. Go in a stall, and jump around and shake your whole body for a few seconds. Get that shitty energy someone tried to dump on your out of your system right away!

I can’t stress enough how much doing this for a few seconds every day helps me. So, do yourself a favor, and pull a Taylor Swift and just “Shake it Off”.

2c - Face Tapping and Chest Patting - There is research to suggest that tapping your face has mental health benefits that help release stress. Google says “Experts believe it swiftly shifts the nervous system from fight or flight, providing rapid relief from physical and emotional dysregulation. Research indicates that tapping can effectively decrease anxiousness and psychological distress.” Additionally, it has physical health benefits as well. Google says of face tapping that it, “encourages lymph drainage which helps eliminate the damage from free radicals; enhances our skin's ability to breathe by improving the flow of oxygen; plumps the face and smoothes wrinkles by stimulating collagen production; normalizes the activity of oil and sweat glands.” So I do this every morning, and it feels really good!

I was told by someone that softly beating on my chest with my fists will produce a feeling and effect in my body that is similar to what happens when we are hugged. It also has a similar effect that the face tapping does in releasing stress. According to Google, “Proponents say the chest tapping helps you access your body's energy and send signals to the part of the brain that controls stress. They claim that stimulating the meridian points through EFT tapping can reduce the stress or negative emotion you feel from your issue, ultimately restoring balance to your disrupted energy.” So, I do this every morning too. I somatic shake, I tap my face, and I pound on my chest. And it all feels really good, and are super quick ways to release tension.

3 - Three Gratitudes and an Affirmation - for the past few months, every single day (seriously ever single one), when I wake up, I think of 3 things I am grateful for, and one thing I like about myself. It really helps get your day off to a better start. And, listen, I have had A LOT of hard days lately. I am not saying this can completely cure all of them. I still have been fighting some serious demons. However, this does help. Some days it helps a lot. Some days it helps a little. But it never hurts, and always helps to some extent.

4 - Guided Meditation - I mention this A LOT. But I wanted to specifically shout out the ones I have been enjoying lately. My friend Jayme records some of my all-time favorite meditations and puts them on Apple Podcasts and Youtube. She is also on Spotify. They are all pretty short and sweet, and cover a variety of topics. I find her voice to be the perfect blend of keeping my attention and relaxing me. I find the guide’s voice makes all the difference in my experience. Some of them just can’t keep my focus, and others are so annoying that I can’t calm down. Hers is the exact balance I need.

5 - Following positive people that make me happy on Instagram - This isn’t a new suggestion of mine, but I have some new suggestions of people to follow. Here are a few of my current faves: Ixchel Soul (she posts great reels of herself just dancing freely and fully loving herself and they bring me so much joy), inspiredtowrite (this is definitely geared towards creators—especially writers—but the things she posts can really translate to affirmations for doing anything you are scared of), and Danae Mercer (she unapologetically tears down all of the “perfect body” stereotypes that shitty influencers try to sell you).

These have been some of my favorite newer forms of self-care lately. Of course, guided meditation isn’t a new one, but the person I have been listening to lately is. And, as usual, my weekly therapy appointments and the insane amount of incense and essential oils I go through are still very present on the docket. But, I thought I would fill you in on some new info I have learned in more recent times that has been helping me. Hope some of it can help you.

And, I guess I lied, this wasn’t as short as I promised. I will try harder next time.

xoxo, K

PS - I could use some help getting more followers and subscribers across my various channels in order to look more enticing to book publishers. If you like my work, may I ask that you please follow me at these various places (if you don’t already)? And if you feel so inclined, share any of my blog posts that resonated with you on your social media? Additionally, if you share any of my blog posts, please encourage people to subscribe if you feel they would enjoy it.

If you already follow and subscribe to me in all the places, then more engagement with my content helps, too. Instagram and Tiktok have been majorly stifling the small-time creators on the feeds. So, next time you are laying on the couch and mindlessly scrolling, could you take 2-3 mins to go to one of my pages, and just like and comment on a few posts? That helps, too. Again, only if they are posts you actually like. I don’t want to ask you to do anything disingenuous. Below are links to doing these things. Thank you so much for your support!

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