Some of the things I have been wrong about... so far....
The typical occurrence for me is to come up with an “amazing” idea for an article at the absolute worst possible time. Times like when I am almost completely asleep (which takes forever), when I am driving, when I am in the middle of hanging out with a friend, in the shower, etc. Always at a time I can’t feasibly write the article.
And, unfortunately, the way my brain usually works is that literally almost the entire thing writes itself in my mind in that moment. If I don’t get it out right then and there, the idea is, more often than not, completely lost.
I do try to salvage these passing ideas by emailing myself the idea really quick, so I can get back to it later. However, by the time I can get back to it, the article that wrote itself in my head is gone, and only the title itself remains.
This has kind of always been the case, but these days - with my long-haul brain fog - it’s pretty much a certainty I will have forgotten everything. In the past, I may have been able to recall a few pieces of it, and come up with something. Nowadays, not so much.
Today’s blog post is one of those. I don’t even remember what situation I was in 3 days ago when I had this “brilliant” idea. As such, I definitely don’t remember a single thing I was going to put in this article. All I emailed to myself was “some of the things I have been wrong about…. so far…”. I know it was going to be a list with an explanation or story for each thing on the list. But I have zero recollection of anything that was gonna be on the list.
Regardless, I am working hard at accepting where I am at in my illness. Working with the limitations I have been given. And not letting it completely hold me back from everything all the time. As such, I am not going to let this idea go further and further down my email list until it is lost in the abyss and never sees the light of day. I am just gonna wing it, and come up with a new list.
I do recall that this was somewhat inspired by the idea of my Human Design profile. I am fairly certain I have touched upon this in a previous post. Human Design is the really cool thing I found out about a handful of months back, and I have already found a ton of use in. Here is the definition the website I linked above gives for HD,
“The world floods us with messages about who we should be in order to survive and thrive in this world – but Human Design teaches that the same advice is not correct for everybody.
The road to being your happiest, most successful self is one that is totally unique to you. Human Design is here to help you recognise your innate gifts and traits, so that you can be who you truly came here to be - which is the most effortless road to living your dream life.”
This is astrology-based as it uses your birth information to pull your unique profile for you. It also involves the chakra system. It gives you a map to how your entire system works best in this universe. It is basically a woo woo Myers-Briggs that is a million times more in-depth. It’s really hard for me to describe it. You just have to look at yours to see what I mean.
If you do look at yours, here is a word of warning - IT IS COMPLEX AS F*CK!! It is going to take me years to study this and fully understand it. It is a rabbit hole for sure. So, if you decide to do yours, and it seems incredibly confusing and overwhelming, here is what I recommend:
1 - To start, look at this portion of your profile, and not the part that looks like a human map. (Of course if this interests you, then definitely go down the rabbit hole and learn about it all. But, just to start, I recommend just this portion.)
2 - I, personally, would initially focus on your “type” and your “profile” to start. Mine is a 3/5 Generator.
3 - Then go to Tiktok and start watching videos from HD content creators about your type, your profile, and the combo of the two. So, for me, I looked up “Generator Human Design”, “3/5 Human Design”, and “3/5 Generator Human Design”. Then I watched a bunch of videos about it.
Ok, so, the point of all of that is to tell you that my 3/5 profile means that I am someone who learns from my failures. I don’t learn from advice. I don’t learn from watching other people do stuff. I learn by trying it myself. I have to try A LOT of things, and I have to fail at A LOT of things, to truly learn. That is my 3. Then my 5 is all about sharing with others the things I have learned from trying and failing.
That is where the idea for this post came from. I wanted to provide a very incomplete list of things I have learned through experience and finding out I was wrong. And this is the longest lead-in/intro in the history of the world to that list that I have forgotten and I may be stalling to start listing cause as of this moment I have zero idea what I am going to come up with for this list. Ok, let me think for a moment….
Here goes - a list of things I was wrong about:
1 - Depression and anxiety don’t need medication. Ok, those of you who have known me for the past 15 years know that I no longer believe this. Most of you would be surprised to know that I used to feel this way. Before I had any life experience whatsoever with depression and anxiety (cause mine didn’t kick in until I was around 24), I bought into the societal stigma that medication for these was bad. You should be able to work through your own problems by facing them. Taking a pill was lazy and you were avoiding the problem. Wow, I was a real dickhead, right? That was such a short-sighted and closed-minded way of seeing things. I am really sorry I felt this way. I am not saying that medication is always the right choice, but it is definitely necessary in a lot of situations. Now I am the biggest advocate for it and talk about it and write about it A LOT. I learned my lesson the hard way by putting off medicine when I needed it for a lot of years. Then I eventually tried it and it SAVED MY LIFE. And now I write and talk about it all the time. Good ole 3/5 for ya right there.
2 - Schitt’s Creek is not a good show. Holy crap was I wrong about this. When it first came out, I watched maybe 3 episodes of the first season, upon the advice of one of my besties, and I just did not see the appeal. I could not understand why she liked it, and I stopped watching. Then a year or so later, a few more people were talking about it at work. So I got curious, and I tried a few more episodes, and became hooked. Now it is one of my all-time favorite shows. Good thing I was willing to admit my failure and go back and try again. LOL
3 - Abortion is wrong. Here is another one where I was a total dickhead. I am going to share what an absolute ignorant piece of sh*t I was. I am just full out being completely vulnerable and sharing the worst sides of myself with you here. So, please still love me after you read this. In high school, I used to say, “If you don’t want to have a baby, then close your legs.” I know. I know. That was beyond awful of me. I cannot tell you how differently I feel now. Back then, my stance was that in cases of rape, you should have the baby but then give it up for adoption. And, other than that, you should live with it. Guys, I am beyond cringing at myself as I write this. After going to high school in a small town, religious environment - I went to a large university with people from around the world. I gained a liberal arts education. I started traveling more. I started reading more. I met more people. Then I moved away from the only place I had ever known. I met even more people. I talked to even more people. I read even more. I travelled even more. Lather, rinse, repeat. And that is how I got a real education. That is how I opened my mind and actually learned things. And that is how I got out of this small-minded, ignorant, and hateful way of thinking. In talking to and hearing the stories of many women, who are incredibly close to me, I learned how wrong I had been about this mindset in my childhood. Please forgive me for being so short-sighted before.
4 - Snap judgments are a great idea. I am having brain fog, so I went and asked my parents if they could share some things I used to be wrong about. Of course this is an exciting opportunity for them because I have always been such a head-strong, challenging person that it is a breath of fresh air for them when I ask what I have been wrong about, rather than arguing with them about things I think I am right about. As such, my dad told me that I used to make really quick snap judgments about people and their intentions. And I didn’t bother considering other possibilities and reasons. And I didn’t bother talking to them to find out where they were coming from. He says I am much better at that now. I will say that my therapist had her work cut out for her with me on this one, and she helped me overcome a lot of this. It’s not to say I don’t still make snap emotional judgments. But I am better at not reacting outwardly to people in the heat of the moment. I take a beat, calm down, consider other possibilities, and get the other side of the story. So, that was a nice one. Thanks Dad!
5 - Spinach dip sucks. Upon asking my mom about things I have been wrong about, she got so excited she couldn’t contain herself. Her feet started wiggling and she asked me to go get her another beer. She was giddy. Cause I argue with her the most. And I NEVER listen to her advice. This was the opportunity of a lifetime for her. But she crumbled under the pressure and her mind went blank and she couldn’t think of anything. Poor mom. She kept trying to think of foods that I used to think I wouldn’t like, and she made me try them and I ended up liking them. Even those wouldn’t come to mind for her. But it made me remember that when she first mentioned spinach dip when I was like 13 years old, I turned my nose way up at that idea. But she insisted I try it, and now it is literally the only food I request from her at every single holiday gathering.
6 - My brother is an annoyance. Of course both of my parents jumped on this one. And to be honest, he is sometimes kind of annoying. ;) But, in general, yes, I was wrong about this. I will argue that there are very few older siblings who didn’t, at some point in their kid at teen years, think their younger siblings were annoying and should go away. I was somewhat normal in that respect. But, I was wrong. He was sweet, loving, doting, funny, and kind. And I wanted him to leave me and my friends alone. I had wanted a sister and wasn’t sure how to deal with a brother. Regardless, I grew to love the sh*t outta that little sh*t, and now he is like one of my best friends. And his annoying stuff is actually funny and endearing. So, yeah, I was wrong when I was a kid. My brother is pretty great. Ok, are you happy now Mom and Dad?! It was a mistake asking your opinions for this article. I will learn my lesson from this failure. ;)
7 - The music from Rent sucks. My bestie who I used to live in the dorms with reminded me of this one. I had never seen Rent. She was a music theater aficionado and absolutely loved the show. She listened to it in our dorm and I hated it and insisted she turn it off and not listen to it when I was there. Then, a few years later, the movie came out, and I admitted I was intrigued by the story line, so I wanted to see it and would try to deal with the music. So, I went with her and our other bestie, and I ended up LOVING it, and now it is one of my favorite musicals. I have seen it live multiple times at this point. I even became obsessed with the music. That was the first time I learned that I am someone that needs to hear the music with the show. I can’t hear the music without the context of the show with it and enjoy it. That has turned out to be the case every time since then. If I hear music from a musical without having seen it, it does nothing for me. I need the whole experience at once. Fail. Learn. Move on.
8 - Alpha men are the best fit for me. OMG. You guys. If you know me at all, you have to be laughing so hard at me for thinking this. What’s even more embarrassing is I thought this as recently as like 2018 when I was 35 years old. I thought I needed the kind of guy who took control, called the shots, made all the first moves. Woof. Was I wrong or what? I am the most Alpha female you could possibly imagine. So, needless to say, this is a bad idea for me. I had a misconception that Beta male meant that they were weenies, with no confidence, who couldn’t keep up with me. I could not have been more wrong about that definition. Also, is there a type that is between Alpha and Beta? I would probably do best with a Beta, or another type that is between the two. An Alpha male is a terrible idea for me, though. Thank you therapy for helping me with this one! I still need to get a lot better about being willing to make the first move though. I am so stuck in my ways on that. I will work on it guys.
Learning my Human Design type has really given me a lot of clarity and validation. Loved ones get so frustrated with me for not listening to them, not just taking their word for it, and challenging and/or ignoring advice I am given. I totally understand why that would be frustrating for others. But, deep down, I have always felt that there are certain things I have to try and learn for myself.
It’s not to say I never take advice. But, by and large, I am living out my purpose when I try a lot of things, fail at them, learn from them, and then share my stories with the “masses”. Knowing that this way I have always been inclined to do things is how I am meant to live, really helped me with acceptance of myself and leaning into my purpose. I am the living embodiment of the kid who has to burn his hand on the stove. Then, I write about all my embarrassing failures and my readers can either learn something, or at least hopefully be entertained.
This is titled Some of the things I have been wrong about... so far.... because this list is by no means anywhere close to all of the things I have been so very wrong about in the past. And because, in the future, I will continue to be wrong about things and then hopefully learn from them as time marches on.
I have reached out to some friends for their ideas on more items to add to the above list, and have yet to hear back. I also know my parents will be coming up with more and more over the coming days. And I have a therapy appointment tonight, and I am willing to bet she can tell me lots of things I was wrong about over the years.
As such, I have decided there will probably be a part 2 of this list soon. However, here is the kicker, I am gonna publish that as a post that only my paid subscribers can read. So, if you wanna hear more ways that I have been oh so wrong, then you gotta sign up for a paid subscription to my newsletter. Muahahaha, suckas!
