And I'm Proud to be a Millennial, Because at Least I Know I'm Me...
And I won't forget the generations that harshly disagree. And I'd gladly stand up next to you, and defend Gen Y today. 'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this group, Let's hear it for 'Generation Yay'
For the past few years, I have been wanting to write something about this, and had never gotten around to it. Then, a few days ago, I started reading a book called One in a Millennial, and it reminded me that I had been wanting to write this. I am only one chapter into reading the book, so I decided to write this before it could be said that I was a copy cat! I don’t know if anything I have been wanting to say will be said in this book or not. Time will tell!
I have been wanting to write this for a while now for a few reasons. 1 - I can’t open up the internet without seeing some article or meme about how millennials are the worst and have ruined everything . 2 - I can’t open up social media without seeing a post from other generations about how much they hate my generation. 3 - Because I know too many millennials who won’t take ownership of being a millennial because, in my opinion, they have been made to feel ashamed by all of the generational hate perpetuated in the media.
I was born in 1983. The “Millennial” generation was born from the years 1981-1996. Full stop. I am done with the idea that because someone is an “elder millennial” or “Xenial” that they consider themselves Gen X. Or if they are a younger millennial they consider themselves Gen Z. I am done with whatever fancy words and caveats we have come up with to try to differentiate ourselves as not being part of the generation that everyone loves to hate. Because I love us.
I am a millennial. I am not Gen X. Do I have a lot Gen X friends? Yup! Am I old enough to have been influenced by their generation? You betcha. Did I look at all of my Gen X cousins and think they were so cool and mimic everything they did when I was a kid? Absolutely. And, I am still a millennial, as I was born in 1983.
Millennials were also influenced by our Boomer parents. And we are now being influenced by the up and coming Gen Z stuff, too. But, we are also influenced by our generation—Gen Y. It is what it is. And I am not going to let mean and snarky people make me feel bad about the year I was born.
Am I saying the entirety of all the other generations are being hateful to us?Nope! Am I saying that every single millennial is amazing? Nope. Because being a part of a generation doesn’t mean we are all exactly the same. It means we all went through significant world events around roughly the same time, and due to our age during those times it impacted us similarly.
Our socioeconomic circumstances, our geographical location, our race, our sex, our parents, and a bunch of other things impact all that too. I don’t say I am not of Irish heritage because I hang out with a bunch of people with German heritage. I don’t lie and say I’m not from a middle-class family when I hang out with rich people. I don’t claim I wasn’t raised in Southern IL because I moved to Chicago when I was an adult. I was born in Carbondale, IL and no matter how much I may wish I was born in Sweden, I absolutely was not.
So, I will say it again. I was born in 1983, and that makes me a millennial. And no matter how many older generations may write about how we are the reason Applebee’s is failing and avocado toast is the reason we can’t buy a house, or how many Tiktok’s the kids may make about how our fashion is so embarrassing, or how many memes I see other generations post on FB about how uncool we are—it is not going to impact how I feel about myself. It’s not going to make me feel ashamed to be a part of the generation I am a part of. It isn’t our fault that Applebees doesn’t have a sustainable business model and we choose to spend our money eating at places we enjoy, and also putting a strong emphasis on supporting small businesses. Why the fuck would I go to Olive Garden or Chipotle when I can get authentic Italian and Mexican food at a small locally owned restaurant with much better food?
I am not going to succumb to this weird generational hatred that the media is forcing down our throats. I don’t want to be lumped into the “Xenial” category as a way of saying “I am different and better and not like all of the terrible things that are being said about my generation.” I can still love The Breakfast Club and Portishead, while also being really good at using the latest technology and communicating entirely with emojis. Like a lot of Gen X’ers I was babysitting small children when I was 11 yrs old, and like a lot of Millennials I don’t plan on ever having any children of my own. I am proud to be exactly who I am. I was born in a year that makes me a millennial, and I don’t give a fuck about trying to set myself apart from that.
Therefore, I am going to make a list of things I love about millennials. None of these things are exclusive to just us. Other people in other generations do these things, too. And writing a list of things I love about my generation isn’t a dig at other generations or a way to perpetuate the generational hate. It is simply a list of things that I love about Gen Y, in hopes that it will help influence people to back off of the millennial hate that is such a consistent hot topic in the media. It is my hope that it gives other 28-43 year olds permission to love themselves and not succumb to some bullshit tactic created to consistently make us feel like garbage about ourselves. So, here we go:
1 - A very significant focus on destigmatizing mental health issues. Certainly other generations have gone to therapy. However, it is my experience and opinion that Gen Y, on the whole, has been much more open to going to therapy and addressing their mental health. They are very vocal about doing this, and working to normalize it. I love how Millennials speak up proudly about not being ashamed that they go to therapy, and sharing their mental health conditions in order to help others. I am hard-pressed to find many millennials that haven’t gone to therapy. If you need proof of the prevalence of this move towards addressing mental health issues being a millennial thing, there’s about a million sources on the internet that share proof of this statement.
2 - For the most part, Gen Y doesn’t have kids if we don’t want to have kids because we understand that bringing human life into this world is a responsibility that not everyone should take on. Again, certainly people of other generations have opted out of having children in a variety of ways. Regardless, it seems as if that used to be more of the exception than the rule. And there are a ton of articles and media outlets talking shit about us for opting out of parenthood. But I love it. No one should have kids because of traditions and expectations. That is a HUMAN life. We don’t take that responsibility lightly. I appreciate that people who don’t want to be parents are not becoming parents more and more. I admire how we talk openly about our personal experience with abortions and why it was the right decision for us. And I applaud that we are brave enough to tell our parents we will not be giving them grandchildren just to appease them if we do not actually want children ourselves.
3 - How we support the LGBTQ+ community. Upon a quick Google search, there are a plethora of resources showing statistics about how Millennials are much more widely accepting and supportive of people in the LGBTQ+ community. Of course, this sort of thing usually tends to get better with each generation in general. However, the numbers jump up exponentially higher when you get to our generation from previous generations. And of the millennials who are having children, I am seeing them raise these younger generations to be much more accepting of the community. There is a lot more support for their children who are identifying as part of this community. Is there acceptance and support in other generations? Yes. Is there still hate and ignorance in my generation? Yup. But, if we are going to generalize generations in ways that promote hatred, then I may as well generalize my generation in a way that promotes love. The numbers don’t lie.
4 - We are optimistic and live our lives to the fullest. Ok, stick with me on this one, because you may be a millennial reading this and thinking “I am not optimistic.” However, I disagree. I think to go through everything we have gone through, at the age we went through it, and for us to still try as hard to succeed as we do, makes us optimistic.
The job market was pretty terrible for a large portion of us due to everything that happened with the economy when we were headed into, or nearing the work force. The economy has certainly crashed before and impacted other generations. However, a lot of millennials had a unique combination of being told we had to go to college to get a good job, we had to take out incredibly massive and predatory loans for college, then we graduate college and can’t get any jobs, and then the housing market crashes. We have forever been playing catch-up, and this series of events is particularly difficult for most of our generation considering the pivotal ages we were at when it all happened. We hadn’t had a chance to build a life for ourselves yet, and we started or adult lives completely in the trenches. It has forever set a lot of millennials back when it comes to financial health.
Yet we persevere with more jobs and side hustles than anyone I know. We work really hard, and we don’t stop trying to achieve our dreams and our potential. We are also big supporters of small businesses. Most of the millennials I know would rather go support a ‘mom and pop’ than a big chain - aka we eat avocado toast at the local small cafe rather than chicken fried chicken at Applebees.
And I see so many millennials being so generous with others—even when we have so little to give. I personally don’t know more than 5 millennials that I would call “stingy”. I am sure there are more, but on the whole it’s not very prevalent. And we get criticized for “being irresponsible with our money”, but we don’t care. Being stingy with money just ain’t our thang.
We value experiences and we prioritize getting out and living life to the fullest. We can’t take money to the grave with us, so we do something good with it while we are here. We also get criticized for this, but if I have to choose between owning a home and experiencing all this beautiful world has to offer…I am not choosing the home. On my dying day, I will be able to say I experienced incredible things and I was generous with people. I find this to be an optimistic way of living.
I also think it takes a lot of optimism to work as hard as we do to break the patterns of generational trauma, and face them so head on. This goes back to #1 about mental health. I don’t know of many millennials that aren’t, in some way, working on breaking toxic patterns and generational traumas. That doesn’t mean that every single millennial in existence is doing this, but I would argue that the percentage who isn’t is small. By and large, the amount of millennials working on healing things that have been passed down for centuries is extremely high. I think you have to be optimistic to work that hard on healing shit.
I think it takes a lot of optimism to do all of these things and keep our heads up. The scrutiny we face, but we keep on keeping on. Again, my caveat that I can’t stop repeating—I know other generations have individuals like all of these things I have mentioned. I imagine anyone subscribing to this blog is probably a pretty darn generous and fun person. It’s not a diss on anyone outside of 1981-1996. It’s just a pat on the back to a generation that, by and large, is known for the above-mentioned attributes.
5 - We are disloyal to our jobs. And that is a DAMN GOOD THING. Gone are the years of sticking with the same company your entire career just because it is expected. If we are working at a company that isn’t treating us right, won’t pay us fairly, ruining our mental health, expecting more than they are compensating, and many other things that are hurting our quality of life—then our generation doesn’t put up with it. Companies have zero loyalty to us, so we understand we don’t need to have loyalty to them. I think we have a very good mix of caring about our co-workers and developing lovely relationships with the people we work with, and also recognizing when it is time to leave the job if it isn’t right for us. In the past, it seemed that the norm was decades of total loyalty to a company no matter what the circumstances were. No hate to other generations for doing it the way they did, AND I am tired of the hate we receive for doing it the way we do. I prefer the way millennials do it, and believe it is better for our mental health, gives us a variety of life experiences, and keeps things from getting stagnant.
Plus I highly agree with all of these things that Indeed says about millennials in the workplace. (see further descriptions of why each of these bullet points are pertinent to Gen Y in this link to the article)
“This generation has witnessed technological growth and development. As a result, they are considered more progressive, creative and far-thinking than earlier generations. Many millennials may also identify as being more concerned with intrinsic and moral values over extrinsic and material ideologies, according to Pew Research Center.”
Values meaningful motivation
Challenges hierarchical status quo
Places importance on relationships with superiors
Intuitive knowledge of technology
Open and adaptive to change
Places importance on tasks rather than time
Passion for learning
Receptive to feedback and recognition
Free thinking and creative
Values teamwork and social interactions in the workplace
Okee doke! That is where I will leave this. I think my generation is the bees knees. I am not here to hate on any generation. I think we all have our strengths, and I think the individual exists within these groups. Not everyone in every generation is a carbon copy of the attributes we have been assigned. My goal here is not to trash talk other generations, but rather combat the trash talk that is consistently given to millennials.
I am no longer going to say, “well, I was born in 83 so I am a Xennial and identify more with Gen X than younger millennials.” I am now going to say, “I was born in 83, and I am proud to be a millennial. There are a lot of really amazing things about our generation.”
I hope any other millennials reading this can now feel empowered to do the same. And I hope people outside of Gen Y know that I am not trashing your generation. You have a whole list of great attributes, too! I would just love for everyone to see the beauty in my generation, and for us to stop playing into the unnecessary millennial hatred that the media perpetuates.
Much love! xoxo - K