New Year, New Poo

My major misfortune seems to be that I get my most “brilliant” ideas when I am trying to fall asleep. I will be on the brink of maybe possibly coming close to falling asleep, and all of a sudden my mind is absolutely flooded with the entirety of an article or chapter I should write, or a tiktok video I should make, or a killer outfit I should purchase, etc.

When it is the outfit one, I usually pull out my Amazon app and make it happen, then try to go back to sleep (well, I used to. I have been financially challenged for more than a minute now, so I don’t do that anymore.) When it is the tiktok video, I think “Ok, great, I will do that sometime.” Then I promptly forget the entire thing and the genius is lost to all of us forever. I am so sorry for you all. Cause it probably was going to be the first pulitzer winning tiktok honestly. When it is a writing prompt, literally the entire essay flashes in my head within a few moments. I can’t get the words on the paper fast enough. However, the number of times I actually wake myself up to write the essays are very few and far between. I always decide that I need to sleep, or at least try to sleep. I email myself the title of the essay, and tell myself it will get written during waking hours.

My email is full of titles of things that never get written, cause I forget everything that flashed in my mind the night before. This is definitely the case now more than ever because of my memory problems that I have with long Covid. In the past, I would remember the overall gist, but maybe not all of the exact phrasing. But now, I forget pretty much everything if I don’t drop everything and do it right now.

On Jan. 5, at 4:05am, as I was desperately fighting my long haul insomnia and had an idea for an article that I just knew could change the absolute face of the human race if I wrote it. Every single idea and word flashed in my head, as it often does. But it was 4:05am, I could not fully wake myself up to spend a couple of hours writing this. As such, I emailed myself the title, and struggled til 6am to fall asleep, as is par for the course as of late.

The title I emailed myself, the essay that would make me be considered the writing genius and voice of my generation, was “New Year, New Poo.” And, as per usual, I have almost zero recollection of anything I wanted to say in it. I know it was supposed to be a self-love article about all of the bull-shit with the whole “new year, new you” garbage that we are force fed every New Year’s. I remember a few things about it, but not much. However, that is OK, cause I have been inspired by A LOT of things the past few days, and I have new ideas for the essay, so you still are getting a blog post titled, “New Year, New Poo”. You’re welcome.

My new idea is this. I am going to talk about all the pressures I think that a lot of us feel in the “new year”. I am going to talk about what a frustrating and shitty time of year this can be, especially this current time period. And then I am going to validate those feelings, talk about possibilities of why we feel that way, suggest things that may make you feel better, and try to put a better and positive spin on how a lot of people are feeling right now. Sound good?

This article will be a bit of a listicle style, but first I have a caveat/disclaimer thingy for the reader. The ideas I put forth here are mine. They are things I have done for several years now that work for ME! I hope that at least some of them can be helpful to you. If they aren’t, that’s ok, you can take them or leave them. I do not claim to be an expert in any of these areas. These are just things I study in my free time, have used myself for a while, and that I enjoy. So, if you find anything that doesn’t sound right to you, by all means please do your own research and decide for yourself how you wanna proceed.

Here is where I am going to validate how you are feeling, and give you some explanations that help relieve some pressure and anxiety for me. 

Why do so many of us feel like shit right now?

1- Astrology - Retrogrades and full moon shit - Mercury is in retrograde until Jan. 18, Mars is in retrograde until Jan. 12, and we are just coming off a full moon in Cancer. What does all that mean? Here is my interpretation of what that means, based on all of the resources I use to study astrology. 

- Mercury is the planet of communication. Communication of all forms - talking, listening, writing, negotiations, contract, etc. A retrograde period is when we feel we are moving backwards. We aren’t technically, but the way the planets and sun are orbiting at that time, it gives the feeling of moving backwards, and there is a huge cosmic shift that can be felt. So, when Mercury is in retrograde, we feel like our communication is ass backwards. We aren’t understanding each other or ourselves. And it is a domino effect, you feel you are being ass backwards, you feel other ppl are, they feel you are, and it all gets muddled and fucked up. You obviously can’t stop communicating entirely during this period. But, you can push some things back that aren’t a priority. If it can wait til after Jan. 18, then push it back to after Jan. 18. If it can’t, then meditate before the conversation. Go in with a clear head. Go in knowing that things are rough for everyone and have some compassion and extra gentle understanding for yourself and others. Be patient. Slow down. Hibernate as much as possible. Use this period of time for reflection. Don’t try to push things forward that don’t need it right now. A lot can wait. 

- Mars is the planet of WAR! Aggression, battle, conflict, action, desire, pushing things forward. These all represent Mars. (Aries is ruled by Mars. I am an Aries. In case any of you ever wondered why I am such a force to be reckoned with.) So, the planet of all those things is in retrograde. What did we learn about retrograde? That it feels like things are ass backwards. So while our communication is totally fucked up right now, we are also feeling this weird backwards energy with a planet that is in charge of battle. Is this making sense yet? Your senses are soooo heightened right now and everything is so astrologically fucked. People are coming at you. You are going at them. It feels like a battle, and one that you are losing. I have the same advice here as I do for Merc. Ret. - hibernate, go slow, be patient, put off anything that can wait. You will not get the desired results right now. You and no one else is in a state of mind to handle them. Wait and you will see better results. Don’t push shit. 

- Full Moon in Cancer - WOOF! Guys! The first two things are bad enough, but add this on and we have a trifecta of absolute emotional chaos. Here is what this is all about - Most of us have heard that a full moon makes people go crazy, right? Ok, the moon really rules our emotions in a big way. It effects the tides. Our bodies are mostly made of water. So it effects our bodies too. The moon is at night, which is dark. It’s like the moon represents the shadow sides of ourself. The dark, hidden parts that we don’t like to deal with or people to see. A full moon really makes all that shit start splashing around. Ok, that’s just a plain full moon. A full moon in Cancer?! Cancer’s ruling planet is the moon. So when those two team up, the power of the moon is POTENT AND POWERFUL AS FUCK!! On top of that, the sign of Cancer is one of the most sensitive and emotional signs. This means that a full moon in Cancer is really fucking powerful, emotional energy absolutely splashing around all up inside you. You, and everyone, are EMOTIONAL AS HELL RIGHT NOW. Is it best to be trying to make major decisions and carry out major life situations when we are insanely emotional? No. So, again, my advice is hibernate, don’t make any decisions or have any conversations that you don’t have to. The full moon just ended, but it takes a little while for those waters to calm down, so give it a few days. 

- Ok, so the planet of communication is fucking us up, the planet of war is fucking us up, and we are waaaaay all up in our feelings. Do you see now why it may be a good idea to take a step back, breathe, be introspective, and not push things? Take this time to figure your shit out. Deal with your emotions. Slow down. No rash decisions. Hibernate. Place and hold your boundaries. Take care of yourself. Be gentle with yourself. Those conversations, contracts, and other matters that involve other people can probably wait til like around Jan. 20th. And if they absolutely cannot, then take this knowledge into the situation, take deep breaths, and be incredibly kind and gentle to yourself and others. Meditate. Get laid or masturbate. Take a hot bath or long hot shower. Get a massage. Drink lots of water. Be creative and paint or color or something. Go for a hike. Bake a cake. Just fucking spoil yourself extra hard.

2 - More astrology, but something that is a different category than the above shit. We may be in 2023 according to the Gregorian calendar or whatever the fuck we use. But honey, we are still very much energetically and cosmically in 2022. 

- We are in Capricorn season. We still have Aquarius and Pisces season before we are in what I consider the “new year”. The beginning of Spring, and the beginning of Aries season is the start of the new year in astrology. We are in winter. We are in the dark. We are in the short days. We are in the dead trees. It is definite end of year energy. You are just not energetically ready to start a new year yet. You will be when the days are longer and the time changes to Daylight Savings. The weather starts to get a bit warmer. Things turn green and bloom. And that incredibly energetic, vibrant Aries energy kicks in. That’ll be March 21. So, I am officially telling you the New Year doesn’t start til March 21. So quit trying to place all this new year expectations on yourself now because we have not cosmically and energetically shifted to that yet.

- Also, with it being Capricorn season, I have a few other insights along these lines. Capricorn is all about hard work, being steadfast, getting the job done, and being persistent. So you are probably feeling that push to get the job done right now, cause of that Capricorn vibe. But you are lacking the energy needed to get to the finish line, cause of the fact that we aren’t in the Spring/Aries era of action and energy. So it feels conflicting. You want to be productive and get shit done cause it’s now 2023 and it’s Capricorn season — but we are in Mercury retrograde, Mars retrograde, full moon in Cancer, and it’s dark and gray and cold. I think you should lean into the part of Capricorn that is steadfast and persistent. You don’t have to stop working on things. You just have to stop expecting them to get done right this second. Slow and steady wins the race. Just pace yourself, do what you can when you can, and be patient with yourself and the process. Don’t let those conflicting energies frustrate you. Just accept them. They can be peanut butter and jelly rather than oil in water.

3 - Weather and sun - I won’t stay on this one too long cause I already addressed it in the point above, and most of you know this. But I think it needs to be reiterated. A lot of us are living in areas that are cold and that makes it hard to go outside and soak up the power of nature. It can be depressing for everything to not be in bloom. Shorter days. Lack of sunlight. It just feels dreary. It’s ok that you feel dreary too. Don’t push yourself too hard and get frustrated when your body and mind just won’t cooperate. Take some vitamin D. Get a plant. And just allow yourself to move slower. 

4 - Holiday Come Down - You know how when you get home from a vacation it is sad cause not only is the trip over, but all those weeks you had before it looking forward to it are also over? Well, it’s like that now, too. There was so much family time, shopping, decorations, yummy food, presents, celebrations, getting dressed up, etc for the past month. And in the weeks prior to that month, you were doing all kinds of stuff to get ready for it. There is an ABRUPT drop off of that energy on Jan. 1.

There is some relief cause you get to relax from all the hard work and running around. If you are an introvert, you also get to relax from all the people. If you are an extrovert you are missing all the people. But you had to go back to work and you have nothing to look forward to for a long time, and it is dreary out and there are no Christmas cookies and no presents, but there are huge credit card bills now. There is no tapering off from it all. Just an abrupt end. That is a big energy shift. Even if some of it is good and some of it is bad, it is just a lot of complete change in a short amount of time.

So, again, just knowing that and being mindful of it when you wonder why you feel weird is helpful. I always find that being able to identify why I feel weird and/or bad kind of relieves the negativity and takes away its power.

My recommendation for this one, go treat yourself to the thing you are missing the most. Just once. Just to help ease the transition. Get yourself the present on your list that nobody got you. Go to the bakery and get a sugar cookie. Go to the store and get some eggnog and rum. Just do one of the things and kind of help taper it all off so it isn’t such an abrupt ending.

5 - Shamey “New Year, New You” and toxic diet culture “before and after” posts and a lot of pressure to immediately change everything about yourself on Jan. 1.  Oh girl, it is going to be hard for me to be somewhat brief and concise on this matter. This is soapbox territory for me y’all. This time of year is the advertiser’s favorite time of year, especially the diet industry. They are capitalizing on the dumb ass New Year’s resolution shit and they are making you feel just so awful about yourself so you will spend all kinds of money on their crap. Then, in a couple of months, when it didn’t pan out, you get to feel a whole other level of shame about not following through. And your subconscious knows this from previous years’ experience, so you are already feeling this tension and shame in yourself before you even start the new year. 

You are feeling that “new year, new you” pressure. You can’t become a new person overnight. You can’t change everything about yourself in one big swoop. You probably don’t need to change all that much about yourself anyways. I encourage you to have goals, but make them realistic and attainable. A friend bought me the book “Atomic Habits” and I highly recommend it. Read that. Let it help you take small steps towards working on what you want to work on. Also, if you mess up your goals one day, you can start again the next day. And the next. And the next. I don’t give a fuck what the calendar says.

You are also probably being inundated with advertisements and social media posts about starting some toxic and unrealistic and unhealthy diet. You are seeing shamey before and after photos in which you are supposed to hate/feel sorry for/be grossed out by the “before” pic, and you are supposed to love/be attracted to/celebrate the “after” photo. FUCK THAT SHIT. You and your body are worthy. You are worthy of love. Not only from others, but from yourself. You are worthy of good sex. You are worthy of cute clothes. You are worthy of posting a picture of yourself just as you are, and being proud of it. You aren’t a worse person when you have gained weight and a better person when you have lost weight. You aren’t a bad person if you are fat. And I am so sorry that the diet industry makes millions of dollars off telling you otherwise.

If you want to make some healthy decisions in the new year, go for it. If you mess up, that’s ok, start again the next day. If you don’t see the results you think you should see, don’t be deterred. Genetics can absolutely not be denied, and you cannot let the toxic diet industry make you hate yourself because of that. If you don’t want to make healthy decisions in the new year, then don’t. If you just aren’t ready, then wait til you are. This is a free fucking country and you do whatever the hell you want. Jan. 1 is not a magical day that changes everything.

The fastest way to feeling better about yourself is just loving and accepting yourself for where you are right now. Do some research on “body neutrality”. I could write a whole other article about that. So I recommend looking it up, and working on it. I am absolutely not saying that you shouldn’t want to make healthy choices. But I am saying that everyone’s results and journey will vary greatly, and you absolutely cannot judge yourself based on all these bullshit posts you are seeing.

UNFOLLOW THE FUCK OUT OF ANYONE MAKING YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT ABOUT YOURSELF. Hide that ad on Instagram. Snooze or unfollow that friend on Facebook. Mute that commercial or change to another station. Fill your social media feed with people who make you feel good about yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself 10x every damn day that you are beautiful/handsome inside and out. Whether you believe it now or not. Whether it makes you feel silly or not. Just do it anyways. Re-hardwire your brain. It works. 

Those were my 5 reasons why you probably feel like shit right now. Here are some more things you can do about it.

Above are some possible reasons why you feel like shit right now. Why you are restless, frustrated, tired, misunderstood, etc. And also in the above, there are a few ideas on how to combat them. Below, are some more ideas on how to combat them. These are things that I enjoyed, and helped me, and worked for me. It isn’t everything I have done, but they are some current highlights for me. Do your own research on them, find out if they are right for you. Try them if you want, and don’t if you don’t. 

1 - Unfollow, snooze, mute and hide the ads, posts, friends, commercials and all the stuff that makes you feel bad about yourself. Put focus and emphasis on the people and things that make you feel good about yourself. Fill your feed with things that brighten your day.

2 - Creativity. Make or listen to music. Make or look at art. Color in a coloring book while you watch TV. Write your personal memoir or journal. Doodle in a notebook or paint a mural. Come up with a fun video idea and make it and post it on tiktok or wherever. Just find something creative you like, and do it. Also, check out the book “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert. It is about how to life a creative life without letting fear stop you. It was an inspiration for me in 2022. 

3 - Hibernate. Say no to things you don’t want to do. Don’t overfill your calendar and be too tired and annoyed to enjoy any of the things you are doing. Go to bed earlier or sleep in. Give your body more rest, and only do the things you have the energy to do. Prioritize. You obviously have a lot of things you have to do, but find like 2 or 3 things you don’t have to do and that you don’t want to do, and take them off your list. Be unapologetic in your quest for rest. 

4 - Socialize! The is is opposite of hibernate. Because maybe all you have done for a long time now is hibernate. And maybe that is depressing you. Maybe you need to force yourself to hang out with ppl. Pick the right ppl. Pick the ones that give you a boost of positive energy and make you feel good after you see them. The key here is balance. Hibernate if and when you need to. Socialize if and when you need to. Tune into yourself to find out what you need.

5 - Mindfulness. How do you tune into yourself to find out what you need? Be mindful. I would need another article to write about the practice of mindfulness. But, you can learn about it on Google. You can also learn about it from your therapist. What? You don’t have a therapist? Fucking get one. And my favorite place to learn about it is from Cory Muscara. You can follow him on Instagram, Facebook and Tiktok. You can listen to his podcast on Apple. You can listen to his meditations on Youtube and the Simple Habit app. And you should definitely read his book.

6 - Meditate. How do you become more mindful once you learn what it is? You meditate. “How do I meditate? I hate meditating. I can’t clear my brain and just sit there in silence and think of nothing.” No one can. (Well maybe like 1% of the population can, and they have studied their whole lives). Do 5 minutes a day. And do guided meditations. Guided ones really help you get better at it and make it much easier. Find a guided meditation leader who’s voice doesn’t annoy you and it captivates you. That was the key for me. Everyone’s mind wanders. These help with that. Again, my recommendation is Cory Muscara. Here is one to get you started on youtube that explains the idea of mindfulness, and it helps you feel less pressure and frustration about the fact that your mind is absolutely wondering. 

7 - Astrology. If the stuff I said about astrology resonated with you and you feel like just knowing what is going on helped relieve some stress, then follow some astrologists. Learn about all the cosmic things that are going on. Just understanding that there are reasons for the way you are feeling can take away a lot of the negative power. My absolute new favorite astrologer is Chris Corsini. He has stuff on Youtube. I follow him on Instagram. Every month he makes 10 min long reels for each zodiac sign giving you advice and information on your month ahead. He is engaging and charismatic and a delight to listen to and watch (he does sign language while he talks!). Those readings are free and incredibly helpful to me. 

8 - Reiki. This one is a deep cut. I am not going to say it isn’t for everyone, cause I believe it can be for everyone. But this one is just different than what a lot of people are used to. A professional energy healer does spiritual energy work on your body to help shift and unblock the negative shit and replenish with positive shit. Google it. If it sounds good to you, then look for professionals in your area who do it. This is one of my all-time favorite healing tools.

Basically, just understanding why you aren’t feeling great, relieves a lot of its pressure and takes away its power. I hope this article helped with that some. (Heck, I even linked all the resource suggestions for you!) If you liked this article, you will love the book I am working on. This was the miniature version of it. You just got a lot of good info for free. But trust me, the book is going to be sooooo much more in-depth, juicy, and helpful. Stay tuned for that. In the meantime, tell me in the comments your favorite ways to feel better, or what factors you recognize that are fucking up your shit right now. Sharing is power. 

That was A LOT. So I will just leave you with why I called this article “New Year, New Poo”. Ok, stick with me here. It rhymes with “New Year, New You”. But since “new you” is bullshit, I replaced it with “poo”. Like, it rhymes with “you”, but it is also shit. So it could be more apt to say “new year, same poo” or “new year, same shit”. And all of that factors in. But, I think what I really want to say, is that in this new year, I want you to do new things that heal you. And those healing things will cause you to relieve yourself of some shit. Like when you go poo. Who knows, some of the new things you do that heal you might actually technically cause you to have very weird and new kinds of poo. Like it might be green or something. Your body getting rid of negative toxic shit. That would be awesome. 

Love you, K