My 40th Birthday

As most of you know by now, I moved home in November 2021 due to my long-haul Covid illness. When I moved home, I thought, oh after like 3 or 4 months I will be fine. I will be able to work again, I can save money, and in like a year I will be ready to move out and move to NYC.

In reality, it took over 7 months to feel like I was capable of maybe trying to work again, and only part-time. So, in June 2022, I started looking for a remote part-time job. It took some time to find something that worked out with my symptoms, my schedule, and the fact that it needed to be remote. But, eventually, I found something that seemed like a good fit, and I started in early August.

Jumping back in the story a couple of months prior to this, in May of 2022, as I was starting to feel a bit better, and like I could have some semblance of a life again, I was paid a wonderful visit by my Chicago bestie, Suzan.

While she was here we made a pact that for my 40th birthday in April 2023 we were going to Vegas. I felt confident making this pact because I knew that I would be feeling even better in a year’s time, and that I would be getting a job in a couple of months and could save money for it.

I immediately reached out to my group of besties that I normally take trips with, and I said “We are doing Vegas for my 40th! You in?” They said they were, and they had a whole year to plan and save.

Ok, now coming back to August 2022. I had just accepted the new job offer, but hadn’t started the job yet. I set up a FB group message with the gals that were going to Vegas with me, and I sent them a proposed itinerary, a proposed budget, and I booked us a bad ass suite at The Cosmopolitan.

A few days later, I started my new part-time, remote job. There was just one catch. I would spend just one day in-person at this new job being trained on how to use the programs. So, I spent about 5 hours with 2 people at their office doing the training I needed. One of those people unknowingly had Covid, and subsequently gave it to me.

I got insanely sick again, and this delayed work by about a week or so. Upon finally starting, I lasted a few weeks before I realized I couldn’t do it. I was back to square one with my symptoms and I could not function at all. I reached out to the employer and explained the situation, and was laid off.

I spent the next several months unable to work, unable to save money, and unable to get better. Every long-haul symptom was back in full force and I had picked up some new ones.

Ok, what does all of this have to do with my 40th birthday? I am getting there! Hold your horses! And don’t worry, this story has a happy ending.

By December, I knew there was no way Vegas could happen. I can’t work, I can’t save money, and am falling into tremendous debt due to the fact that I have bills and no job. Additionally, since I don’t even have the energy to work, or take a long walk, or do much of anything really - I know there is no way I could do a Vegas trip when I feel like this.

Therefore, I reached out to my gals and cancelled the trip and the suite at the Cosmopolitan. I explained the situation, and apologized for the unfortunate circumstances.

I knew they would understand, but I was not expecting what would come next. Everyone immediately jumped in and said, “ok, we will come to you.” Then they started tossing out all kinds of ideas of things we could do in Southern Illinois.

I was verklempt. I was not expecting this at all. I told them to let me think about it. I was still dealing with the disappointment of having to cancel the trip, and I was wrestling with a lot of symptoms and wanted to think about how this would play out before they got too deep into planning.

I thought about it for a few days, and decided this was exactly what I needed. What I craved at this point in my life was being with my friends. Vegas is great and all, but what I really needed was the besties that were willing to go to Vegas to celebrate me in the first place. Now these ladies were willing to come here. They didn’t need the flashy lights of Vegas. They just wanted to be with me.

I reached back out to them and told them I did want them to come to me for my birthday. I also asked for another big favor - I asked them to plan everything for me, and without me. Additionally, I requested that someone else be in charge of taking pics and doing social media posts at this birthday event.

This was huge because I am the planner of the group. I like doing it. I have been known to be a bit of a control freak in the past. And I like holding the reigns and knowing all the moving parts. I also like controlling the social media posts. I also have major trust issues when it comes to other people planning things for me.

After losing complete control of my life the last couple of years through all of the above mentioned circumstances, and upon the upcoming new decade I was getting ready to enter, I decided it would be an important life lesson and milestone for me to do this.

1 - Asking people to do something for me. (This is not something I was even remotely comfortable with prior to my illness, and still struggle with.)

2 - Trusting people to do something like this for me, and come through.

3 - Giving up control of planning and deciding.

4 - Not even being in-the-know about any of it.

5 - Giving up creative control of the social media posts.

None of these are easy for me. However, I knew it was an important lesson and that I could enter my new decade with an experience that could change me and open me to new growth.

I trepidatiously asked them if they would do all of this for me. Without hesitation, they responded with a resounding “YES”. I asked my bestie Amber to lead the charge, since she also lives here and would be a good point person. She took the reigns and went above and beyond what I ever could have imagined.

My other besties helped her, and they all planned their travel. Kristen bought her plane ticket to come from San Diego, Brittany booked her flight from Vegas, Suzan drove from Chicago, and Lindsay popped her toddlers in her mini-van and drove from Alabama. She dropped the bb’s off with grandpa, and they all came together for me. My local besties, Amanda and Emily, joined in the festivities too.

Let me just tell you all the ways they showed me their unending love and support from start to finish…..

When the weekend came, Emily was tasked with being my chauffeur and drove me out towards Goreville into a remote, beautiful, woodsy area. We pulled into a driveway for a beautiful cabin. Waiting outside were all the ladies who had planned this weekend for me.

I was given big hugs by all of them. Then they all started taking pictures of me, and pictures of me with them. I felt like I had my own private paparazzi. I loved it!!

They took me inside, and it was a gorgeous luxury cabin on it’s own. But to make it even better, my friends had spent a bunch of time before I got there absolutely DECKING it out and making it a Krista Wonderland.

From every light fixture, hook, and anywhere you could possibly hang anything - were disco balls. How had they even gotten them hanging off the chandelier up in the loft? Well, someone had climbed over the railing and leaned out to do it. I don’t recommend this daring activity, but I sure did appreciate it.

Every table had disco balls, a bouquet of beautiful fresh flowers sat in the center of the room, and Aries decorations were affixed to multiple locations throughout the cabin. Taylor Swift music was playing, and the pièce de ré·sis·tance was a backdrop with several multi-sized balloons in every shade of purple (my favorite color) that were framing long sparkly silver streamers. The perfect backdrop for an epic photo sesh.

I was still in shock from the beautiful cabin when I was informed that the cabin had a hot tub out back, and that we had some special food. For my birthday present, my bestie Kristen had the evening catered for all of us. She had it catered with three of my absolute favorite foods in the world, two of which I had been lamenting that I couldn’t get in Southern IL, and really missed having them in Chicago.

Kristen informed me that she had ordered two of my favorite entree’s: Hawaiian poke bowls and Korean BBQ chicken wings. Then, she told me she got us my favorite dessert - bread pudding!!!! I was in HEAVEN!!!!

While the food was being set out, we did an epic photo shoot in front of the amazing backdrop. Emily became our official photographer and social media poster for the weekend. I was so grateful that they remembered my request, and took that off my plate. Additionally, my other friends stood behind her and used the flashlights from their phones to light our photo session. How freaking cute is that?!

Then we all sat down to eat. As per usual with this group of peeps, the conversation was awesome and we vibed so hard. There was no shortage of laughter. Oh, and the food was INCREDIBLE. We just chilled and relaxed. It was perfect for my energy levels, and was not taxing on me like Vegas would have been.

Then, IT WAS TIME FOR PREZZIES!!! Gift-giving is my love language.And hey, before you judge me, please note that I love giving presents even more than I love getting them. (But, I do really love getting them.). Everyone came through like gangbusters on this.

Amanda gave me the Oasis vinyl record had been wanting forever. She had been planning to get me a Stanley drinking cup - 40oz for my 40th - but I ruined it by getting one for myself a couple of weeks before. I really need to stop getting myself my own birthday presents a week before my birthday. I am an idiot.

Suzan got me a gorgeous crystal necklace that she had seen my eyeing last time we had been together (I had gravitated towards this particular crystal many times and she had noticed), but I hadn’t bought it for myself. As well as a really cool leather necklace and some Aries incense.

Emily got me something from my favorite store in Southern IL, Makai Crystal Shop. She knew how much I love going there.

Brittany gave me corn earrings (because of my obsession with the Tiktok corn kid), and a beautiful framed photo she had taken. I had told her about a year ago how much I loved that particular picture and wanted it framed. She had remembered all that time later and did it for me.

As we know, Kristen got me catering of my favorite food. She also gave me a beautiful peacock painting, and had little gift bags filled with lots of little goodies for everyone there. So thoughtful.

Lindsay remembered a Tiktok I had sent them of Snoop Dogg, decked out in head to toe Gucci, and he is giving an award acceptance speech where he only thanks himself for everything. I had sent it to them and commented on how that is something I would do. So, she took that theme and got me a bottle of Snoop’s wine with his face on the label, and…… a Gucci purse!!! She has a friend in Germany that sells them. We are pretty sure it is real. It also doubles as a fanny pack. I could not have loved it more!

Then, Amber’s present to me was a gift to everyone. A few weeks prior, I had been telling her about the “Love and Accept the Sh*t Outta Yourself” workshop I was working on (the one in my last post that I just rolled out.) I had shared with her that for my upcoming photoshoot for it, I wanted to buy and wear a sweatshirt I had found that matched the marketing images I had been creating. I told her this because I was hoping I could use her t-shirt printing machine thingy to print “Love and Accept the Sh*t Outta Yourself” on it.

Well, Amber pulls out her present and he had ordered that exact sweatshirt for every single person at my party, and printed my workshop name on them for everyone. She told everyone that I had this “really beautiful and inspiring idea for this workshop, and she supported it so much that she wanted us all to have my merch”. Ummmmmmm, talk about waterworks. I cried so hard.

Everyone put on the sweatshirt, and we took a picture. Then, we all went outside, got in the hot tub, and talked and laughed for a couple of hours. Around midnight, we were all ready for bed. It was a 40th birthday party after all. We ain’t able to party all night anymore….. well, maybe we are, stay tuned…..

The next day everyone let me sleep in as late as I needed to, because this weekend was designed with my symptoms in mind, which includes insomnia. Even though I got in bed at midnight, and was tired AF, I couldn’t fall asleep until about 5am (even with my sleeping pill).

While I slept in, everyone ate breakfast and chatted. Additionally, they all worked on another gift to me. Suzan had an idea to bring little slips of beautiful scrap book paper, a box of pens, and a pretty vase. During down-time at the cabin, people sat down and wrote wonderful affirmations, words of support, compliments, and kind messages to me on the little slips. They filled the vase with about like 50 or so. Any time I am having a hard day, I can reach in the vase and pull one out. I can read it and be reminded of the love and support I have from them.

When I woke up, I found out that they had bought all kinds of great breakfast groceries. Including another one of my absolute favorites - bagels with cream cheese and lox. Kristen made me breakfast while I sat and waited for my usual wake-up headache to subside.

Then we all started getting ready for the activity that was planned for the day. A trip to the wineries! Of course lots of cute pics were taken, and then we were on our way. We hit up two local wineries, had a lovely time, and delicious wine.

At the 2nd winery, I hit a wall with my energy/fatigue and decided it was time for me to nap. We had been out about 2.5-3hrs, just sitting and relaxing at the wineries, and I already needed a nap. Yeah, definitely made the right decision about Vegas. LOL

Luckily, a couple of the other girls thought a nap sounded fantastic, too. So, half of us went back to the cabin for an afternoon siesta, and the other half got to stay at the winery and have some more fun. I am so glad that everyone didn’t have to leave on my account, and people just got to do what felt best to them.

When I woke up from my nap, the girls had brought back a bunch of Quatro’s pizza (my local favorite) for dinner, including my favorite kind - The Philly Cheesesteak pizza. We all chowed down, and then came the next surprise.

I have this habit of seeing recipes that look really good, and then sending them to Amber, hoping she’ll make them for me. Well, I guess a while back I had sent her a recipe for a really good looking dark chocolate cake. Turns out, she hung on to it and saved it for this. She had made me this beautiful and insanely delicious cake for my birthday. They put sparkler candles in it, and sang to me. We ate the shit outta this cake, and OMG it was better than I even imagined.

Then we sat around and everyone went around the circle and toasted and roasted me. LOL. I won’t share everything that was said, because some things are private after all. But let’s just say, there were a lot of happy tears and a lot of love and laughs going around. It was really special, and I felt so loved.

After that, we pulled out the karaoke machine I brought, and we had the most epic karaoke session in this history of all of our karaoke sessions. We sang and danced our hearts out for HOURS! And I do mean hours. It lasted til like 3 in the morning (see, I told you earlier us old ladies can still party late into the night).

The next morning everyone pitched in and cleaned up all the decorations. It is here I should mention that I never had to lift a finger for anything this whole weekend. Food prep, dishes, cleaning up, anything. Everyone did it and let me rest. It was so unbelievably kind. I mean, I didn’t even have to heat up my own pizza or toast my own bagel.

Once checked out of the cabin, we headed to brunch at an incredible restaurant in Anna, The Iron Whisk. Every single lady wore the sweatshirt Amber made us, except for me. I wore one of my funky outfits cause I was the designer and the birthday girl! LOL. (Also, I have been having hot flashes, and while everyone else was chilly, I was HOT! haha)

Brunch was delicious, conversation was wonderful as usual, and my heart and belly were full. After we ate, it was time for Suzan, Kristen and Brittany to hit the road. So I gave my hugs and gratitude, and said my good-byes.

After that, the last portion of the weekend that was planned for me was incredible, too. The rest of us headed out to our friend Lezlie’s yurt. She is a reiki practitioner, masseuse, and a healer. The yurt is in the woods and just a really beautiful and spiritual place. Lindsay, Emily, Amber and I got to participate in a cacao ceremony and reiki. All of this is right up my alley. I love these kinds of experiences, and it was the perfect way to cap off the weekend.

Once finished with these festivities, we all headed home. I was beyond tired, but insanely overwhelmed with love and gratitude. This had gone beyond my wildest expectations. I didn’t lift a finger, I wasn’t asked to spend a dime, and I was catered to completely.

They designed a weekend that allowed me to go at my slow pace, have so much fun, not spend any money, be completely catered to and spoiled, and feel so beyond loved and special. It included pretty much most of my favorite things - hot tubs, poke bowls, karaoke, reiki, presents, compliments, disco balls, etc etc.

They covered every single love language: quality time, physical touch (lots of hugs), words of affirmation, acts of service, and gift giving. I had a few ideas of what might happen going in, but they blew my mind and it went so far beyond anything I could have ever expected. Listen, I love Las Vegas so much, but this was so much better than Vegas would have been. This is exactly what my heart and soul needed after everything that has happened the last couple of years.

They also helped me grow. I was able to let go of the reigns, let go of control, not know what was going to happen next, count on people to come through for me, and just sit back and let people love me. It sounds kind of weird to say that “sit back and let people love me”, but it can be harder than you think.

I didn’t feel any guilt for all they did for me. I didn’t feel any pressure to make sure I was pulling my weight. I just did the metaphorical trust fall into their arms. I know the people that truly love me will be there for me. They won’t let me fall like others have before. To just sit back and let them show me their love in all of these ways was the greatest gift I could have ever asked for.

At one point during the festivities, I was crying because I was emotional about something nice someone had said or done, and I said “I don’t understand why you guys like me so much!” Then someone jokingly said, “Because we are afraid of you!” hahahahaha!! Just what we needed at that moment.

I love the way we bounce between crying and laughter. Like Truvy says in Steel Magnolias, “Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.” Well, it’s mine too. And on my birthday weekend, when I was laughing through tears, “The Thong Song” happened to be playing on our speaker, so I started twerking too. So, I added a new layer to it. “Laughing through the tears while I twerk to The Thong Song is MY favorite emotion.”

This post is my love letter to all of you besties for coming through for me like this. Showing me love, showing me I can trust, showing me I can let go, and lifting me up so high when I was feeling so low. I love you all from the bottom of my big dumb heart. I will be forever grateful to you for doing this for me.