"Eat, Shop, F*ck" - My Trip to Italy - Part 3
The Final Chapter - Now I Need A Trip to Southern Italy. Who Wants to Pay?
Ok, final installment of my Eat, Shop, F*ck trip to Italy! My inbox is still open for any offers to be a professional at this.
June 3 -
Day 9. Venice.
I set out to find a restaurant The Tooch recommended for some cicchetti for breakfast. When I got there, there was nothing there. It didn’t exist. No idea what was going on. So then I went to the other one he suggested for the same thing. When I got there, it was completely shut down and a note written on window. Crazy town. Eventually, much later in the day, I found some cicchetti elsewhere. I genuinely have zero idea what type of fish was on the ones I ordered. The ppl working there did not speak English, and there were no labels. I took a gamble with two random ones with some sort of seafood on them, and they were DELICIOUS AF!!!!!
So I explored my neighborhood, San Polo, last night. And I wanted to explore San Marco and Dusodoro today. While walking, my Google maps usually leads me to bridges to walk over. But today, it led me right to the water and was like “take a ferry”.But there were none. So I had to walk longer to get to a bridge. So much walking! Lots of good exercise! Today was hot and sticky. It seems the evenings are cool with a nice breeze. But the day was swampy! But it’s ok. I had fun. I still absolutely love this city.
I happened upon the Rialto bridge when I was trying to get places. There were way too many ppl on it and crowded in that area. Very touristy. Most of San Marco was very touristy and crowded. Not my scene. The hood I’m in, San Polo, has been way more my vibe. Less touristy, a bit more local. Lots of fun bars and restaurants and shopping. People hanging out at bars in the street with a lively yet chill energy. I’m into it.
In San Marco, I happened upon an AMAZING restaurant for lunch!! I had incredible foie gras as an appetizer, and then a salmon, grapefruit, and avocado salad for entree. It was so heavenly! I was told it’s actually the oldest restaurant in Venice. It was quite fancy. I felt out of place until a 60 something year old woman walked in dressed like Julia Roberts in the first part of Pretty Woman. No hate. I was obsessed with her. That will be me someday. Get it girl!
Then I walked to Dusoduro and explored. It was midday siesta time so things were closed. But I enjoyed the sights, and I sat by the water and just enjoyed the waves and breeze. I did get myself a pair of Venetian gondola shoes that I’m pretty stoked about. They are dark green velvet and feel very chic. They may not look like much in the pic, but I saw a tiktok with Aziz Ansari wearing some and he looked cool AF. But for real, even before I saw that tiktok, I’d heard about them and wanted some.
After hours of walking, I went back to my Airbnb and rested for a few hours. Then, I got ready for my date!!! I skipped dinner tonight and now I’m paying for it. I wanted to rest and then ended up not having time before our date (which was drinks and not dinner). So I’m gonna chow down on a protein bar before bed I guess.
Anywho, the date. This was my favorite one y’all. His name is Mattia. Good lord was he DREAMY!!!! Legit my exact type physically and personality wise. Incredibly smart, yet humble. Such a good conversationalist. Was a linguistics major and we geeked out talking about linguistics cause I think it’s fascinating. He was impressed I knew the IPA (international phonetic alphabet). He’s a middle school teacher. He’s insanely sweet and thoughtful and sensitive and respectful and into feminism. He can talk with ease about anything. He’s a great listener. If I made a list of everything I wanted, that would be it. He even traveled into Venice from Padova to go out with me. Now maybe he can move to the US to marry me. Lol. Jk.
Ok kids, I’m probably gonna stop going on dates in Italy at this point. So this will most likely be the last one. If you read this far, tell me what your perfect type is!
June 4 -
Hey friends. I’m not going to do an Italy update tonight. I arrived in Milan today, and upon taking a rest at my Airbnb after my train ride, and logging on to FB, I learned of the passing of one of my all-time favorite people, Debbie Johnson. I’m feeling a lot of sadness over this news, and am just using my energy to process this shock and sadness, and feel that emotion. I know the last thing she would ever want is for me to stop doing my thing on this trip, but tonight, I just need a minute. I’ll be back at it tomorrow, and at that point I’ll also probably have a few words to say about the woman I lovingly called my “Facebook Mom”.My deepest love and sympathy to all of her loved ones, which frankly, is every damn person that ever had the fortune of meeting her, but especially to her family.
June 5 -
Day 11 - Venice to Milan. Day 12 - Milan to Genoa
Day 11 - I headed to Milan. At this point, I’m exhausted and worn down with my fatigue and shortness of breath. I got to my Airbnb and just rested for a few hours. During that time, I learned of the passing of my friend Debbie. So I took some time to cry and be alone.
I was not a fan of Milan, and that would have been the case regardless. People were rude, including my Airbnb host. I specifically booked the place because it had AC and because I get heatstroke so easy I need it, and he controlled the thermostat in my room and would barely turn it on. He was a huge jerk about my check out process and very condescending. The city itself was also cold and rude and frankly just wasn’t an impressive city, from what I saw. NYC is an impressive city. So is Paris. So is London. So is Rome. Milan, you aren’t that special, get over yourself. You don’t hold a candle to any other city. You’re covered in graffiti. You don’t have enough cabs. Nothing was convenient. Also, you are more hot and humid than Florida. Nothing was as pretty as other Italian cities. Will not be back.
The other hard thing was that I was only there 24 hours, so with my energy, it was just a lot of lugging luggage to and from the train in a short amount of time with no break. And obviously the news about Debbie while I was there did not help. So those things weren’t Milan’s fault. Had I felt better, had more time, and explored more, maybe I wouldn’t dislike it as much. However, I will say my gut instincts when it comes to vibes, as an empath, are usually right on. Not saying it’s a bad city for everyone, it’s just not the right energy for me. (And upon speaking to a friend who lived in Italy 10 years, she said the same about Milan, and that it’s rude and the only city here she doesn’t like. So I felt validated)
Ok, now that I’m done bitching about Milan, I’ll talk about what I did enjoy. After I had a rest and some solid crying, I forced myself to get ready and get out. I had sushi cause it was right next door and sushi is my favorite food and I’m tired of pasta and Debbie would have told me to eat whatever the fuck I want no matter where the fuck I am and no matter what the fuck anyone thinks. She wouldn’t have said “fuck”. But she would have supported my use of it.
Then I walked to the bar The Tooch told me about. MAG Cafe. This was in the neighborhood I stayed in, and really a cool neighborhood. I will give Milan this. Navigli hood was very cool. Trendy, hip, bustling. It is located far from touristy city center. While it was busy for sure, it felt more like a local vibe. Lots of locals in the streets. This area has a ton of bars and nightlife on the canal. It all felt super hip and alive.
I made it to the bar, and all the bartenders were young male hipsters and they were jamming out to that new awful cover of “Tom’s Diner”. They probably don’t even know the original song. But they were so gorgeous I forgave them. I was seated at the bar, next to a girl who appeared to be by herself. I asked her if she was, and she very enthusiastically said yes, and she was excited to meet another single independent female solo traveler. We hit it off immediately and had an amazing time. We became fast friends and shared contact info. She’s from Brazil and we discussed our life stories, global politics, why she loves America and wants to live there, I told her don’t love us too much cause we have serious issues with gun control and racism etc, and we talked about being single and dating and all that good stuff. She was a delight. Thank you Debbie for sending her to brighten my night when you knew I was so sad I almost didn’t leave my room.
At the bar, which specializes in mixology and custom cocktails, I had two drinks created just for me based on my preferences. The bartender did an outstanding job and I enjoyed them greatly. I had a great experience at this place, and would recommend if you are here. Passed a lot of beautiful intentional graffiti murals on the way that I enjoyed.
Went home after a couple drinks at the bar. Needed rest. Next morning, checked out, took my luggage to a storage unit, and headed to fancy designer store area.
When I checked out, I was so tired and I had so little time, I didn’t put on makeup or fix my hair. But I did put on cute outfit. When I got to area with all the designer stores, I just felt like I wanted to feel and be more glamorous than what I currently was. So, I thought of Debbie, and I thought she would tell me to treat myself. So I found a Sephora and got my makeup done at the Charlotte Tilbury counter. The make up artist did an incredible job and I felt glamorous as fuck. It was nice to be pampered and make the best of a bad situation. It was perfect.
Right before my makeup, I stopped at a place to eat, and had an afternoon tea service. I’ve had much better. The tea options were just plain black or plain green and that’s it. The tea sandwiches were not good. There were no scones and clotted cream (which every tea service should include no matter the country). BUT the petit fours were delightful, plentiful, and amazing. So many and so delicious. So that was the saving grace.
Ok, then I headed to Gucci. I planned to window shop at many designer stores, and to purchase one (somewhat lower priced) thing at Gucci. When I got to Gucci, there was a line out the door. I waited in it, and stressed about time. The impromptu make-up appointment took a lot of time. And I had a 4pm train to catch. As I was trying to decide if I just forfeit the one store I planned to go to, I saw someone pass wearing a tshirt that said “there is never enough time”. Ok, Debbie sending me her stellar words of wisdom. I will stay in this line and if it’s the only store I go to, that’s ok, cause it’s the only one I wanted to go to.
Once I got in, I realized the wait is because they assign you your own personal shopper. Uh oh. I’m not a high roller. You’re wasting your time. I just want to look around at my version of an art museum. Take pictures. Try on things I’m never going to buy. Oh no! Lol. Oh well, that’s their problem. Don’t let my big bag fool you, I just got a scarf and sunglasses. It looks like more than what it was.
Then I picked up my luggage, and got to train. More exhausted than I’ve been this whole trip. Luckily, in Genoa, I was planning to meet my friend Echo at the train station. I met Echo like 8 years ago I think. She was touring and reached out to be booked on my comedy show in Chicago. I booked her and she was a lovely person and we stayed in touch on FB. She’s American and married an Italian and lived in Genoa for 10 years. So she met me at the train station, helped me lug my luggage up 5 flights of stairs at the loft AirBnB. Then we went to dinner next to the sea, and had the best time. Having only met once, 8 years ago, we jumped in like soul sister best friends who’ve known each other our whole lives. What an amazing conversation and a lovely time. Just what I needed.
Ok, so Genoa. This more than makes up for the last couple of days. It’s the perfect way to end my trip. Are you kidding me with this place?
I’m staying 20 mins outside Genoa in a beautiful, quiet yet lively, beach town called Boccadasse. I’m staying up in a loft right on the town beach with windows RIGHT ON THE LIGURIAN SEA. There’s little waterside restaurants right out my door. A little bar right out my door. Gelato right out my door. BEAUTIFUL colorful homes right out my window. The cool, refreshing breeze is NONSTOP. My windows are open and all I hear are waves and seagulls and all I feel is BREEZE!!!!!!!!!! I fell asleep to waves crashing. I’m in HEAVEN.
Echo and I ate right next door on the beach. We shared fried seafood and a ravioli in walnut sauce. Plus a pre dinner spritz, and Prosecco during dinner. For dessert I had panna cotta. Delicious!!!!
If you read this far, I’m sorry that was the longest novel ever. Had to make up for my missed day posting. Hope you enjoyed.
Ciao!
June 6 -
Day 13. Today was perfection. It was exactly everything I needed towards the end of my trip. Just a super chill, relaxing, easy day at the beach.
I fell asleep with windows open and the breeze and sound of waves last night. I slept wonderfully and slept in. Then I put on my suit, my new lime green mumu, and stepped outside of my front porch to the gelato store next door. Got a pistachio gelato bar.
Then, I got in the water and did my mermaid business. It was only 76 today but water was not too cold and felt great. The beach is rocky so it’s very hard to walk into the water without slipping, so I didn’t go far. But I found a large smooth rock to sit on in the water and I let the waves crash into me.
After that, I grabbed brunch right there on the beach. Genoa is known for their focaccia and seafood, so I got focaccia with cream cheese, tuna, and anchovies with a spritz while I watched the water.
Later, I walked around the area a little bit, but it’s all pretty residential and not much to see. Everything I need is right on this beach out my door. A few restaurants, gelato shop, and the sea. Very quaint and lovely.
Then I went home and took a nap, read some of my book, went to a restaurant on the beach and got pesto pasta (pesto is another thing Genoa is known for), and assorted fried seafood (octopus, squid, cod, anchovies). It was absolutely delicious. I also got another gelato bar. This time it was chocolate and raspberry.
Then I read some more. Then I took a long bath. Then I reorganized my luggage. Now I’m gonna read some more and go to bed. There’s no WiFi or TV here. That’s what I needed.
If you read this far, what’s your favorite gelato flavor? Mine is probably pistachio.
Ciao!
June 7 -
Last day in Genoa. More beach. More being a mermaid in the water. More seafood. More gelato.
Tomorrow I take a 5 hour train to Rome to get to my hotel that is at the airport to fly home the next day. So today was the last day of “vacation” so to speak. I wish I could say today was as wonderful as yesterday, but unfortunately it wasn’t. I’m so sorry to disappoint, but I’m nothing if not honest and genuine. I did have good parts of the day though, so here is the good and bad.
Let’s get the bad out of the way. Having a lot of anxiety today, which I always get when I’m ready to fly. Also, all the nuances of travel (especially solo and especially overseas when you are going from town to town) can be a bit overwhelming. Trying to get from point A to point B every couple of days, by yourself, with luggage, where you don’t speak the language, where cabs aren’t plentiful, where there is no Uber, etc etc can be a lot to deal with. I also wasn’t aware I’d need a Covid test to come home. I scoured the flight requirements on American Airlines before I came here and it repeatedly said I just needed to be vaccinated. Then a couple of days ago I get an email saying to go back I have to have a test regardless. They should have said that from the get go. I’ve talked to other people that didn’t know that either. They’ve made it as clear as mud on where to go and how to accomplish this, and you can only do it in a very short window right before coming home (a lot of which is when I’m on the train). So I spent a lot of today, my last “vacation” day, scrambling to figure out what to do, and making arrangements to get where I need to go. I’ve spent too much time today researching and making calls and only getting tentative information. I’m a planner and control freak, so this is hard for me.
I’ve done my meditation. I’ve done my anxiety exercises. If my cab doesn’t show up tomorrow morning. I’ll just stay in Italy. If I am late to my train cause my cab is late or doesn’t show up, I’ll stay in Italy. If I can’t get my testing figured out and I miss my flight. Guess what? Yup, I’ll stay in Italy. I’m reminding myself I’m competent, capable, strong and smart. I’ve done a lot harder before on my own. I always land on my feet. So, I’ve calmed myself down a bit. I’ve also channeled Debbie today and all of the supportive and helpful things she would say to me on this post. And that has helped greatly.
I’m annoyed I had to spend so much time today dealing with this. I would have liked to spend it like yesterday, just relaxing by the water. But, it is what it is. I’m still insanely grateful for the opportunity to experience this, and I’m still over the moon at everything (and everyone) I’ve been able to do.
Now for the good!!!
I did have some enjoyable parts of the day. I had another wonderful nights sleep with the sea breeze and crashing waves. I had breakfast on the beach.
I was able to get myself further in the water today and totally mermaid out in the water for awhile. It was hot today and the water felt perfect. It’s very hard to walk out far on all the large, slippery, unstable rocks. But I did it without breaking an ankle and enjoyed it immensely. Even though the rocks are tough, silver lining is that you don’t bring home any sand in your suit!
I ate assorted fried seafood again for lunch. I read my book some more by the beach and am loving it. I took a long afternoon nap.
I tried to make dinner reservations at the nice restaurant on the beach but they claimed to be full. I’m looking out the window and they haven’t even been half full the whole night.
Guess they were not interested in my business.
Tried to go to dinner at the other restaurant at the beach. Got a table. They told me tonight they aren’t serving dinner and their kitchen is closed and they are only doing apperitvo service tonight. (This place has had the most random and inconsistent hours that they will and won’t serve food and when they are or aren’t open. There has been no rhyme or reason at all). So, yup, you guessed it, I got fried assorted seafood at the same stand again. Views and vibe here are 100. Possibilities for eating meals are subpar. To cope with the challenges of the day, I’ve had A LOT of gelato.
Regardless of the inconveniences and challenges of the day, I’m so happy to have been fully in the water for a long period of time. I’m enjoying copious amounts of fried seafood and gelato. I’m reveling in afternoon naps. I’m enjoying reading because there is no tv. And I’m loving falling asleep to waves and a sea breeze. So, despite the annoying parts of the day, I’m choosing to be grateful and focus on that good stuff.
I’ll just say my prayers that all the upcoming getting home stuff works out ok, and that I can muster the energy to get through it. Debbie would say “Rest. Breathe. Put it in God’s hands. You got this. You’ll make it home eventually. Enjoy your last night”. So I’ll do just that.
If you read this far, please send some good juju for my travel home anxiety and hurdles. And also, please know that, regardless, this trip was a dream come true and I’m overall so happy with it and incredibly grateful.
Ciao
June 8 -
My cab showed on time with no problems. I found a pharmacy by the train station, got right in, and got a negative Covid test. At the train station with time to spare before my train from Genoa to Rome. I’m off to Rome Airport Hotel. Flying out tomorrow.
I’m consistently more capable and savvy than I give myself credit for. I come from a long line of anxious worry warts. It’s hard, but it doesn’t stop me from doing shit that scares me.
Funny story to give you some perspective on my history of thinking I’m incapable of survival. After graduating 8th grade, where all my classes were condensed to 2 hallways, I spent the entire summer worrying like crazy that when I went to Carterville High School (HS population at that time was around 400+) I would absolutely get lost and not be able to find any of my classes in the 3 floors of the incredibly small building. If you’re from Carterville, you know how laughable that is. I’ll never stop working on trying to give myself more credit, and get on top of my anxiety.
Anyways, tonight I look forward to the cushiness of an actual hotel, and hoping their pool is open cause I’m gonna go under the water and let it heal me.
Ciao
Well, that’s it. That was my trip of a lifetime. The good, the bad, and the hot Italian men. And while I miss it, I do have a new appreciation for things I take for granted in America: ice cubes, protein at breakfast, and AC so cold I’m slightly chilly.