An Inside Look At My New Insider Article
Hello friends! If you are my social media friend, then you may know that I recently had another professional article published. If you haven’t read it (or want to read it again), here you go - My New Insider Article.
I thought it might be fun to write this post about some behind-the-scenes things that led to this article. Give you an insider look at my Insider article, if you will.
1 - It took me a year of pitching to get a second article published. This freelancing biz is no joke. I mean, I never thought it was. I never thought it would be easy. But I don’t want to just post my successes and have people think this shiz comes easily. It does not. But, I am not afraid of hard work and rejection. I did start auditioning and acting at 10 years old after all! My first article was published June 2023. I pitched it in April 2023 and it came out online in June. Then, I didn’t get another pitch picked up again until April 2024, and it came out in May 2024.
Granted, I am very limited due to my chronic illness. I cannot devote as much time, energy, and brain power to this as full-time freelancers do, as I want to, and as much as it takes to really get this career going. I often get VERY frustrated with my limitations that keep me from going after this as hard as I want to. However, I am trying to learn to be patient, accept where I am at, and be grateful for what I have accomplished. It isn’t easy as an Aries, but I am working on it.
I started pitching in February 2023, and was planning for it to be a LONG time before I got anything published. So I was pleasantly surprised when my first one was picked up two months later. Then, I think I may have thought I had more of an “in” than I actually did, and was somewhat assuming that I would get something else picked up again within a few months. However, that did not at all happen.
I’m going to estimate that I sent out probably about 20 different article pitches to about 30-40 different editors. Now not all 20 pitches went to all 30 editors. Some pitches only were relevant for 5 editors, etc. Some editors I pitched to multiple times and some I only pitched once. If I had to guess, I would say I maybe sent out about 200 pitches over the course of 12 months. So 20 different article topic ideas, to a range of editors. So, I averaged about 2 pitches a month I am guessing. Some months I did none, and other months I did 3 or 4. It all depended on how many doctors appointments I had and how bad my symptoms were.
I am sure that professional full-time freelancers send out gobs more than this. However, I am very proud of myself for doing as many as I did, under the circumstances. There were 3 months in a row last year that I had anywhere from 6-9 medical appointments a week, every single week. And there were countless days where fatigue, brain fog and migraines rendered me utterly useless. Additionally, I spent a pretty significant amount of time writing my book and book proposal in the last year. All in all, I know I am doing the best I can with what I’ve got.
Now, while that may not have been a lot of pitching, that was still approx. 198 rejections and 2 acceptances in a year. Most rejections are just not hearing anything back at all, and some are hearing back that they don’t want it. LOL! So, you gotta keep your spirits up, believe in yourself, keep doing the work, and trying not to take it personally.
I also spent a fair amount of time researching how to pitch, asking questions in my writer’s group, and even attending a workshop entirely devoted to pitching. I know I can write one hell of an article. But selling your article idea in a brief pitch is another beast entirely. And there was a huge learning curve with that (and frankly there still is, because I still am learning how.)
So, behind the scenes there was lots of work and rejections. And 2 published articles came out of a whole year of doing that. I am still not dissuaded and am still motivated to keep on keepin’ on.
2 - I used astrology to get these articles published. Ok, I know that some of my friends are thinking that I am downgrading my work ethic and skills. However, I am not. I know those played a role, too. However, you can be the most talented person in the world at something and never catch a break for a multitude of reasons. We always hear that “right time, right place” stuff. I am not discounting perseverance as it is probably the most important thing. I am however saying that getting yourself aligned and in-flow with divine timing from the universe continues to prove to be a winning strategy for me.
When I know a good astrological day is coming up, I prepare some kind of project or offering to release that day, and I tend to get pretty good returns yielded. Not just with writing, but with a lot of different endeavors. I spend time manifesting, putting out my good thoughts, and doing my witchy shit—and then letting the astrology and my spirit team take it from there! It tends to work pretty well.
Both of these articles were planned for some good astrology and came about because of some deep intuitive messages I received! In addition to the work I put into the writing, these woo woo things help that along. You can’t just rely on astrological/universal luck and not put in the work. But, a lot of times, at least in my case, I also can’t just rely on hard work. Any time I have ever gone against astrology or my intuitions, it genuinely has always worked against me in pretty much every facet of life. And, a lot of times when I have gone along with it, I have seen some pretty cool benefits!
3 - Some of my further thoughts on the topic of my article that couldn’t be included in the 700ish words I was given. Also, some of this would have gotten off topic. If you haven’t read the article, or need a refresher, it is around the shame I have for taking phentermine for weight loss.
a - I haven’t stopped being a body positive, believes in health at all sizes, advocate for loving yourself at any weight person.
b - I truly believe that our medical system is still very fucked up when it comes to their understanding of weight and the way they handle it. I still think most doctors want to blame weight for every single problem you have and I don’t think that is responsible or productive. I believe there are many people who weigh more than the antiquated system says is “healthy”, and yet they are very healthy people.
c - I also don’t think it is any of our business whether someone is healthy or not. We should leave that up to each individual.
d - And I don’t believe being healthy is a moral attribute. I don’t think you are a good person for being healthy or a bad person for being unhealthy. And I don’t think it is our job to judge that for anyone.
e - I do not think there should be any shame around weight gain or weight loss or anything having to do with weight.
f - I very much still believe that it is not our job to comment on anyone’s weight, whether it be loss or gain or whatever. I still believe that is a gross practice, as I previously stated in my first Insider article. In fact, believe it or not, not a single one of my opinions on the subject of weight and self-love has changed at all since I wrote that.
g - You will still never see me post a before and after picture of any kind after losing weight. I used to do them where it showed how much weight I had gained. And I did that since it is “unacceptable” to do that in our society and to reduce stigma and shame—because I like challenging that shit. I would still happily post those photos because I know they helped people feel better. But I have never seen before and after weight loss photos help anyone else feel better in a truly helpful and healthy way. I know this is controversial, because I know a lot of people post these. Please understand it is not my intention to insult or chide you. It is my intention to provoke new ways of looking at things. I have done and said plenty of things that I later heard another perspective and changed my mind. I, personally, find before and after weight loss pictures to be unhealthy for a lot of people involved.
they are usually focused on a body look that achieves a societal beauty standard and I do not believe that to be healthy.
when they are focused on health, and not looks, they still usually have something in them that tends to make it seem that losing weight is the right thing to do and that there is something wrong with not doing it.
they tend to solicit a lot of comments validating weight loss which can be really harmful for all involved. The person posting it is getting validation on weight loss, and more times than not, that weight usually gets gained back to an extent, and then they feel more shame because they have built so much of their worth on that validation they were receiving for losing weight.
the people reading the comments and seeing the pictures are internalizing these same messages - weight loss = good and weight gain = bad. This is especially damaging for people struggling with disordered eating, self-love, shame over their bodies, etc.
Some people may be thinking, “why should I have to keep my hard work and progress to myself just to spare someone else’s feelings?” My answer is because it is a nice thing to do. Sparing someone shame that triggers dangerous behaviors over our own vanity is always the right choice.
Posting things you accomplished and are grateful for is fine. (“I am so proud of myself, I beat my personal record by running ten miles today.” “I am grateful that I found a senior citizen water aerobics class that I can manage with the limitations of my illness.” “I am proud of myself for sticking to my plan of cooking healthy meals five nights a week instead of eating out”.) And you may be grateful and feel accomplished that you lost weight. But I guess I am just asking why that is something that makes you feel accomplished? Yes, I know you may have dieted and exercised really hard. But I think we need to focus on the outcome of that hard work being things like lowering your blood pressure, managing your diabetes, getting rid of your sleep apnea, etc. I hold strong to the belief that celebrating the way the physical body looks smaller, through before and after pictures, is reinforcing negative and harmful societal stigmas and internalized shame.
I know this is a polarizing statement. I know I am bound to piss some people off. But I was put on this earth to share these things I have learned the hard way, or insights I have gained from people who know better than me, in hopes that they may occasionally help someone.
h - I didn’t make it known in the article that the drug I am taking is phentermine. This can be controversial because it is part of what used to make up the very dangerous drug “fen phen.” I am not a medical expert so I am not giving medical advice. I am telling you what I have learned from my therapist and doctor. Phentermine is one of the ingredients in fen phen, and what was so dangerous about fen phen was the combination of that with Fenfluramine.
My therapist who has been with me for years, and is the one responsible for helping me love and accept my larger body, is the same therapist who talked me through my doubts about using this drug. Her extensive background in this arena came in very handy. She used to be exclusively a therapist that counseled people who were on medical weight loss and surgery programs. She talked me through the pros and cons, and helped me come to a decision that I was comfortable with for myself. Since I see a nutritionist and doctor as part of this program, and the doctor is very careful with me about the doses of this drug, I am in very good hands.
i - I made this decision because of my long-haul Covid, and not a single doctor in my life suggested weight loss to me. This was me alone. In all the doctors I have seen since I have moved home, none of them have told me I needed to lose weight or correlated that to my long-haul. Even the bad doctors and professionals didn’t do it. This was surprising to me, as I have encountered this from many doctors in previous years before this illness. However, that has not been the case in the last few years.
How I came to this decision was that due to this illness, I am unable to get very much exercise, and I was putting on a lot of weight. Additionally, the depression that this illness has caused has been substantial. At times it has me feeling suicidal (my mom and therapist are aware and look out for me, you do not need to do anything about this). I use eating unhealthy foods as a coping mechanism when things get this bad. Also, a recent CT scan has shown significant atrophy on two of my lobes. One of them is impacting impulse control, and I am having an even harder time than usual at resisting coping mechanism impulses that I used to rely on.
The amount of weight I was gaining felt very uncomfortable physically and was worsening my symptoms substantially. My blood pressure was getting dangerously high, I developed sleep apnea, my inflammation was out of control and impacting soooo many things in my body, and my fatigue was even worse. I decided I needed medical help with this. I brought the idea to my primary doctor, my long-haul doctor, and my therapist. They all talked me through the pros and cons, and I made this decision.
j - I think there is more of an outrage right now around the injections like Ozempic than there is about taking phentermine, and I don’t agree with what I am seeing. I see a lot of rage over people saying that these injections are only for diabetics and now diabetics can’t get their medicine because it is being used for weight loss. And that people shouldn’t use Ozempic for weight loss and that is so vain of them to try to lose weight and take away drugs from people who need it.
I guess I am wondering why the blame is being placed on people trying to lose weight? Why is the blame not being placed on the drug companies who aren’t making enough of it, the doctors who are prescribing it to some people who don’t need it, and whoever is in charge of allowing people who don’t need it for diabetes to get it before someone who does need it for diabetes?
I think we see a lot of headlines about famous, rich people getting it. And stories about already thin people using it to fuel their disordered eating issues. Then we decide that anyone who isn’t taking it for diabetes is a bad person. I think that is what “they” want.
The truth of the matter is, anyone who is taking these injections for weight loss, that actually does fall into the category of “obese,” tends to usually be dealing with high blood sugar, too. I know I was. I had recently entered the range of becoming pre-diabetic because of the weight I was gaining.
If at some point phentermine stops working and I need to consider injections, I will. Because my health is important, too. If my weight is causing me to venture towards diabetes, having really high blood pressure, and developing sleep apnea then I also deserve medicine to help me with that if I want to take it.
I don’t agree with anorexic, rich, celebrities having Ozempic parties with their friends. I do agree with people taking it for their health if they have things going on that are dangerous if they don’t lose weight.
I cannot comment on the side effects of this drug or the cons. I can’t vouch for the safety of it. I am not suggesting anyone take it. I am just pointing out that our society has been sending a message to people that they are taking away drugs from diabetics for their own vanity. And what I think is probably the case is that the small percentage of rich people using it for their vanity do not give a shit and aren’t listening. And the larger percentage of people who are considering it for legitimate reasons are feeling guilt and shame and opting out because there is a blame game happening that is blaming them. I am not sure why the blame isn’t focused solely where it needs to be: drug companies, irresponsible doctors, skinny rich vain celebrities and whatnot?
Plenty of drugs treat more than one condition. I don’t think we get to say Ozempic only treats one condition. I am the last person that wants a diabetic to not get their necessary medicine. I am wondering what can be done about making sure they get what they need, that doesn’t include shaming people who need it for other health reasons to a point where they forgo it?
k - The way we calculate and measure BMI, and the way we have been previously treating weight, is incredibly antiquated. But I think we are seeing things start to move a little in the right direction. BMI is racist, sexist, classist, and a bunch of the other “ists”. It is outdated and ineffective. Weight is determined by a variety of factors such as genetics, environment, income, and geographic location. Things which most people cannot do much, or anything, about.
Healthy food is expensive. Poor people can’t afford it. We live in a country with a seriously flawed system that disproportionately impacts minorities with huge discrepancies in income. There is an extremely high incidence of “food deserts” in poor areas. These areas become disenfranchised and are given no tools needed for survival. Getting to a grocery store to get healthy food isn’t always possible. When it is, the healthy food is too expensive. The snowball grows and all of us on the outside like to say they are in a situation of their own making and it is their fault, but it isn’t. That is how your environment, income, geographic location and race can all be contributing factors to your health that become completely out of control.
Genetics is obvious and most of the most recent research is proving this. Recent research has shown that siblings, with every other factor in common, can literally have a difference in genes that make it so that one person doesn’t gain weight easily, and the other one does.
There is a very large portion of “overweight” people who have tried all the same diets and exercises that skinny people have and it literally does almost nothing. Myself included. And more often than not, the level of extreme dieting and exercise that is needed to make a difference for someone with these genetics is not sustainable. Especially as you get to be a senior citizen. So, inevitably, the weight comes back.
Scientists are starting to better understand this and now we are getting into the territory where this can be managed medically through pharmaceuticals. The same way we use medicine for allergies, diabetes, headaches, and all the other things. We are now figuring out how to use it for people who can’t lose weight, no matter what they try, because of genetics. And how we can help them lessen the health issues they are facing due to their weight. (Now I hope we can put that much money and time into helping with better resources for the health of the people in the other categories I mentioned.)
Again, I am not, in any way, saying that having a higher weight automatically means someone is unhealthy and has health issues. I am saying that if your weight is causing health issues, there is now a slightly better understanding of causes and solutions in the medical community. I just hope we can carry this understanding over to the rest of the population. I would love for society as a whole to realize:
Weight is not moral
Health is not moral
Another adult’s weight and health is none of your business
Weight is not always an indicator of health
It isn’t our business to judge people if they are fat, thin, or whatever
It isn’t our business to judge people of they choose to do something about being fat or thin or whatever
It isn’t our business to judge people if they choose not to do something about it
Sometimes it isn’t a choice and there is nothing to do about it
Let’s love our bodies. Let’s stop feeling shame about them. Let’s make decisions about our bodies that come from a place of loving ourself and not from a place of shame and societal pressures/expectations etc.
Let’s try to express ourselves and our bodies in a way that isn’t harmful to ourselves and/or others.
Ok y’all, those are most of my extra thoughts behind my 700ish word article. I still love myself and my body at any weight. I still don’t want comments about my weight loss or gain or how I look. I still will never do a weight loss post or talk about how much I have lost. I just want my body to work properly and feel good. Choosing the pharmaceutical course is an incredibly personal choice that I would never dream of advising anyone else to do. But, I do want to share my personal experience, because I know sometimes it helps other people feel better about their personal experiences.